The Coach Amy

Winter Solstice

2010-12-21T14:37:00.001-08:00

Well, ladies & gentleman.

Today is the Winter Solstice.

I was instructed back in the summer that a solstice is the perfect day to take out paper & pen & write down exactly what you want for your future!

So I am now instructing you do the same.

Get paper & a pen.

Sit down & really think it through.

What do you want from life?

Do you want a better relationship?

Do you want a better job?

Do you want more money?

Write it down!!

Concentrate on it. Focus, focus, focus!

If you believe in what you want & that just by simply putting it out there, it will happen....guess what! It will!!

That's right.

What you want will happen if your thoughts & beliefs are in alignment.

No negative thinking. Absolutely not allowed.

It will happen, it will.

Just because.

Don't forget about my free coaching offer. Will end soon.

This is the perfect time to hire your own personal life coach!

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Naughty or Nice??

2010-12-21T07:17:00.000-08:00

he's making a list....checking it twice....gonna find out if you're naughty or nice...

Ok, I am not talking about truly being naughty here....Just breaking a few rules in order for YOU to get ahead in life.

Not to hurt anyone or harm anyone.

It's a dicey business to tamper with convention, but if you want to wish, dream, & do, consider becoming comfortable with bending, redefining, & otherwise breaking a few rules.

How do we become rule breakers, you ask?

In some cases, it's sort of a seat of the pants kind of deal. Perhaps you weren't planning on making an exception but you just couldn't help yourself or maybe you knew from the start that you & a particularly menacing rule were never going to see eye-to-eye. You might even have been told to wing it.

Ultimately, I believe that is why we break the rules. We need to get things done & the only way to make that happen is to turn our backs on the rules.

Like I stated earlier, you do not want to step outside the law or intentionally harm or hurt another human being.

Breaking the rules is about asserting your independence & becoming the person you are meant to be.

Each time you break a tradition in order to live your life with more truth & validity, you become a bit of a revolutionary.

Most people confine themselves to doing things the way they've always been done.

It's the risk takers, mistake makes, & rule breakers who wish, dream, & do with verve & conviction.

I believe it was Marilyn Monroe who said "well behaved women rarely make history."

I am here for you.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

tis the season to be giving

2010-12-01T10:07:00.000-08:00

Giving creates space for more to come in.

Some form of giving is an integral part of prosperity. Most people who are blessed with wealth feel a desire to give back in some way.

Take a moment and think of someone who is blessed in this way. Do they give back?

When you give you embody this important aspect of wealth & place yourself in the company of millionaires & billionaires around the globe.

Giving is the natural counterpart to receiving.

In order for you to fully experience abundance, money needs to flow through, not just into, your life.

The only one who puts limits on how much you can receive is you.

If you cannot give money, perhaps you can be generous with your time, skills, or compassion.

The more consistently you give, the more you will benefit from the energy of giving. How much & where you give is less important than the giving itself.

Giving should be done as a gesture of gratitude, not obligation.

Give away a little bit of money everyday. A penny is enough. Drop it in a collection jar, give a tip at your coffee shop, or leave a quarter on a shelf at your grocery store for someone to find.

Give something each time you are asked instead of saying not today.

If your career provides regular cash income such as tips, choose a percentage between 1% & 5% to give away over the next 30 days. Each day count the appropriate portion of what you have received & give that away within 24 hours.

If you absolutely can't give money at this time, donate at least 1 hour a week to a worthy cause or organization.

I am giving away FREE feng shui tips. What would you like to attract into your life? Wealth? Love? Weight loss?

Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

It can be done.

an Attitude of Gratitude

2010-11-24T11:47:00.000-08:00

Twas the day before Thanksgiving.....what are you grateful for?

How often do you truly express gratitude for everything you have in your life?

The sheer act of expressing gratitude sends out a signal to the Universe to send you more things to be grateful for.

Embracing gratitude not only helps you focus on the here & now, but it also makes you appreciative of all you do have in your life right now.

We spend so much time wanting & wishing.
Well, how about just being thankful & grateful for today & what was in our life today.

Instead of wasting energy complaining about what you do not have, spend that exact same energy on what is currently in your life that you are appreciative for.
If you have a thought that is leading to lackful thinking or a complaint, stop yourself in your tracks & replace it with a thought that is appreciative, grateful, or thankful.

The more appreciative you are, the more you attract that positive flow into your life.

If you don't believe me, just try it for a couple of days.
I guarantee you will at least feel a little lighter, less weighed down by all those negative thoughts.

Here is something else you can try.
Keep a gratitude journal. I do this myself. I write 10 things in mine each night before bed. Then I write out some affirmations. I essentially fill up the whole page each night. Sometimes I have to scribble in the sides to have room for everything I want to say to myself.
If 10 things seem like too many, write 5 things you are grateful for. Try to list different things each day.
The point is you are acknowledging these things you are grateful for each day.

You do not have to do it at night like I do. You can do it whenever you want.

This helps develop your awareness for being in the moment.

Take a moment every day, to stop & smell the roses. Look for simple things each day that put a smile on your face. Then hold on to that feeling.

Here are some affirmations about being grateful that you can use:

I am grateful that I'm attracting positive & enriching people into my life.

I am grateful that people are coming into my life to help me on my journey.

I am grateful that I have the tools & insight to live the best life possible.

I am grateful for the many opportunities the Universe has sent to me during my life.

If you like my style & think you may enjoy my coaching, please feel free to email me.

Many different options are now available.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Meet Christina Long

2010-11-17T06:50:00.000-08:00

Christina was 13 years old. She could be just like the 13 year old sitting in your house right now.

Christina Long was pretty and popular.

She was in the 6th grade at a Catholic school in Connecticut.

She was co-caption of the cheerleading squad.

She was a member of the National Honor Society.

And yes, she is now dead.

Killed by an internet sexual predator.

But not exactly how you think.

You see Christina doesn't exactly fit the mold that I have previously described. There is always the other end of the extreme. The kids who seek out these predators. The kids who think they are tough and can handle it. Who are looking for a "good time" so to say.

Christina was being raised by her aunt. They were extremely close. Chrissy & her aunt, Shelley talked about the risks online openly & frequently. Shelley kept close tabs on Christina's online profile, urged her to use a less provocative screen name even. When asked to change things, Christina complied.

However, what Christina's aunt did not realize was that Christina had 1 profile she showed her & 1 she did not.

Christina was going out of her way to meet guys online for sex.

Because of this, she was found murdered on May 20, 2002.

Her alter ego profile stated she was "up for anything."

The only time Christina was left unsupervised was Friday nights. On May 17 when her aunt came to pick her up at the mall, Christina was not there. She called the police & when they turned to Christina's computer for clues they discovered she had changed her password.

What they discovered after AOL granted them access was shocking to her aunt.

One boy was saying 'I'm sorry, I'm glad you got your period. I will wear a condom next time.'

Christina's aunt finally realized she was talking to strangers and not school kids.

Police discovered Christina had had a sexual encounter with a 24 yr old, Saul Dos Reis a week earlier & was planning on meeting him again that night.

When questioned Saul, led police to Christina's body.

Saul claims Christina approached him online & not the other way around.

Christina's aunt did everything right. Talked to her about the dangers of the online world & meeting people online & chat rooms. Popped in on her unexpectedly to check on her online doings. So where did it go wrong?

Maybe you should sit your child down & have a talk with them. Show them the information about this girl. What happened to her. That she thought she was above what had happened to others. That she was just having a little fun....yea a little fun that ended up getting her killed.

It's a scary world out there.

Sometimes it's a scary world in here.

Are we putting our kids in danger??

2010-10-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

We may actually be putting our kids in danger by the contradicting messages we send.

We tell them not to trust strangers, yet

-we drop them off at ball practice with coaches we may never have met

-we allow them to stay after school because they will be with their teacher

-we send them to dance lessons

-scout meetings

-play groups

-daycare centers

-friends' homes

-malls

-movie theaters

-parks

-parties

-beaches

-even to the doctors office

without making sure that they are able to recognize when they are in danger

All of these places and circumstances are full of people they do not know & we do not know. Full of possible child predators.

We teach our kids not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween, we often make exceptions, especially if it's in our own neighborhood, where sexual predators may lurk or reside.

And while we tell them not to even talk to strangers, we make an exception there too for police officers or other representatives of authority.

However, sexual predators have jobs in every profession.

There are no exceptions; they are white collar professionals, blue collar worker, & unemployed individuals.

It's impossible to tell sexual predators from the rest of the population. They are everywhere.

Instead of picking out a group of people to whom our kids can turn to when they are in trouble, such as police officers, we need to simply & openly teach children how to know where to turn.

They have to be trained to use their own intuition about people & use it in conjunction with the information that we have provided to them.

Predators can easily gain the trust of a child, instill in them a feeling of security, & often lead them astray by convincing them that they are mature enough to make their own decisions.

That is why we need to teach children, starting from a very early age, the vitally important information to help them take the power away from the predator.

*Children need to be aware that predators can & will approach them in broad daylight, & on the internet, anywhere at anytime.

If we can instill in our children the need to be completely aware of their surroundings on a much higher level than we generally do, then it's a start.

If we let children know at a young age that people older than them cannot always be trusted, that someone may try to talk to them about things like secrets & special friendships & that children need to tell on them, then we are making some progress. If we explain openly & honestly that there is nobody that can be crossed off the list of people to follow the rules about, then we might just get through to them.

Kids are resilient. They are smarter than we think. Giving them the tools to protect themselves at an early age is wise because it will come naturally to them as just another lesson in life.

I want to help you, as parents, educate yourselves & your children about these predators.

Without education, we will fail our children.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Protecting your kids online

2010-10-15T11:12:00.000-07:00

1. Limit the amount of time children have interactive access to the internet to 2 hours a day. This is after homework. According to research, the risk of a child being exposed to predators, pornography, or cyber-bullying goes up dramatically beyond that daily exposure. The more time a kid has to roam around cyberspace, the more trouble they can get into. If a kid knows they only have 2 hours, then they are going to get down to business & do what is high on their priority list(downloading music, chatting with friends, etc) instead of chatting with strangers.

A note to the wise also, experts say that if a child sees mom & dad spending excessive amounts of time online & meeting other people in chat or in person, they will do the same.

2. Computers with internet access should always be in an open area of the house. You should be able to look in from time to time & see what your child is doing, what they are looking at, & know who they are talking to. It's good for them to know you are paying attention.

3. Remind children that online people are not always who they say they are & that there are real-life consequences should they give out personal information that could allow a predator to find them & take advantage of them.

4. What you post online stays online forever. Don't post anything online that you wouldn't want to be seen by your parents, a principal, police, or predators.

5. Beware of the cell phone, digital camera, or web came showing up that you as a parent did not purchase. If you see one of these items, it could mean your child purchased it without your permission or that someone else, possibly a predator, provided it to ensure he will get photos from your child.

6. Guard your passwords. Nothing good can come from fellow students being able to access your child's personal information or their social networking site. A person who may be your friend today may not be next month. That is how it works in today's adolescent world. Better yet, change your passwords regularly.

7.Set up any social networking site so that only people you invite & approve can enter.

8. Know the chat rooms your child is visiting.

9. There is a fine line between spying and respecting your child's privacy, but it's okay to take a look at their computer every once in awhile. Ask them to show you their friend list. Just as you should know the first & last names of the friends they hang out with, you should know the identities of those they are talking to online.

10. Is your child forming an addiction or obsession to the internet? You can check the archive of who your child has been talking to. If there is an unusual amount of time with one person, especially one you do not know, you need to pursue this.

11. Develop trust. Your child needs to know that if they are approached online by anyone who makes them feel uncomfortable that they can come to you openly & honestly & you will not overreact. They need to know they will not be punished. Remember, the child is always the victim.

12. Know where to go if a predator has approached your child online. You should never be shy about calling an internet provider to report something. Many police departments have youth officers who specialize in this area.

13. Do not delay reporting a predator incident. It probably isn't the first time the guy has tried to solicit a teen. If you do not do anything, you are only giving him the opportunity to do it again.

14. Interactive games like World of Warcraft, Xbox 360 Live, etc allow players to communicate with each other in real time, without a reliable way of logging these conversations. This creates the potential for predators to use these games to groom or meet teens. If your child is staying up all hours playing he could be exposed to conversations with people from all over the world.

15. Do not ever allow your child to use their real name as a screen name in a chat room.

Meet Kacie Rene Woody.......

2010-10-12T16:28:00.000-07:00

She might be a girl just like you or she might be just be like your 13 yr old daughter.

Except she was killed on December 3, 2002 by a man she met online who was posing as a teenage boy.

Kacie Rene Woody lived with her single father & her older brothers in Arkansas. She met lots of people online in Christian chat rooms & talked to them online. Sometimes she even gave them her phone number & chatted with them on the telephone as well.

Kacie met the wrong person online & it ended up costing her her life.

Kacie's computer was in the living room. Her father, Rick, knew she chatted in chat rooms. Rick felt the internet was harmless. He was afraid of what might happen outside the house not inside it. Rick would even look over Kacie's chat conversations. Nothing was out of line.

Kacie met 47 yr old Dave Fuller from San Diego in a yahoo chat room. He claimed he was a 17 yr old boy. Not only did Kacie chat with him, but so did her friend. They both spoke with him over the telephone too. It was stated that he did not sound 47.

Dave lied his way into Kacie's sympathetic heart. He said his aunt was in Arkansas dying. Kacie had lost her mom & was extremely sympathetic to this.

Dave never asked to meet Kacie. He never talked sexually to her. They just chatted about everyday things. School, parents, messy rooms, etc. Except these things weren't really normal for Dave since he was 47 & a child predator grooming Kacie.

On December 3, 2002, Dave showed up at Kacie's house & kidnapped her. She was home alone. Her father was at work at the police station.

Police later found Dave in a storage unit he'd rented a month before in Arkansas. They found Kacie naked, chained to the floor in the back of his van. She had been raped & shot in the head.

Dave Fuller shot himself before police could get inside the storage unit to arrest him.

Police believe that Dave traveled to Arkansas twice before actually kidnapping & killing Kacie based on credit card receipts. He was a true predator. He waited her out for the perfect timing in his head.

http://www.wiredsafety.org/wiredlearning/Einstein/kacie/

Now keep telling yourself this doesn't happen.

Keep thinking this won't happen in my small town, not to my little girl. Because that is exactly what Rick Woody thought.

The internet does not discriminate. It doesn't know small town from big town. Online predators are everywhere.

The only answer is education.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Codependent People.

2010-10-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

After a conversation I had this weekend, I felt the need to write about codependency.

10 signs of a codependent personality:

1)relationship addiction- this person has no sense of themself or feel they are of value so they must continually be in a relationship to feel that high. In other words, they are just an extension of that other person instead of being their own person.

2) Lack of boundaries- codependents have a habit of lacking emotional boundaries. They are like a chameleon. They change emotionally to fit the situation.

3)Value is placed on what people think of them- They will apologize for things they cannot control. They figure out what a person wants & give it to them.

4)The feel indispensable- they feel that people wouldn't want them around if they are not giving something.

5)What do you think- a question you will often hear from codependent people. Do not trust in own thoughts or opinions.

6)Center of Universe- codependent people are self-centered but in a different way. They bring stuff around to be their fault. They are constantly apologizing. They create drama.

7)Emotional walls- Due to a codependents need to help & take care of others, they neglect themselves. They do not have own emotions.

8)Liar- most people lie to get themselves out of trouble. They lie to others to get themselves out of uncomfortable situations or confrontations. Codependents lie to self about own feelings. It's hard for them to face true feelings.

9)Fear of abandonment- codependent needs to be involved in ever aspect of significant others life & if not they perceive it as abandonment. This is usually rooted from something in their past.

10)Control & judgement- codependent people crave control & it comes from deep seeded fear. Codependent people are very judgemental of others.

Let's use romantic relationships as an example.

When in love, you either fit or not. You do not change yourself to fit.

Codependents change themselves to fit every relationship.

I have more on codependency that I will post very very soon.

This is a heavy subject on my mind right now.

Circle the Drain

2010-09-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

I've been planning this blog post for a month now. Thinking it over in my head. I never write out blogs posts beforehand. I always just sit down and type.

Maybe not always a smart move, but it's me.

I want to talk about the fact that I've been Scott-Free for 1 year this month.

Anyone who knows me knows exactly what I am talking about & knows what a HUGE accomplishment this is.

I was in an on again/off again relationship with a not so great for me guy for 12 years of my adult life.

It started when I was 18.

As I look back, I was so smitten.

I loved that boy with every ounce of my being. Would have gone to hell & back.

Maybe I did.

So that was the song back in the day. Yup, explained exactly how I felt. O yea, it came out on the Coyote Ugly Soundtrack. I am not saying it isn't old. I am saying I am not old.

So This guy was 24 when we officially started dating & I was 21. I spent the prior 3 yrs running from him. I must have known he was trouble, right. But I was in love from the get go.

And I still love him. I am not in love with him.

He is an alcoholic and a few other things, but I will not air that dirty laundry. I am not sure how I came to feel so responsible for him. I know that I felt we were soul mates. He never told me that. He did tell me he loved me & I believe he did....to the best of his ability. Alcoholics are manipulative. I could not see that then. They are also co-dependent. I also could not see that then. When I was 21, this relationship was fun. Then I grew up.

Once I had a child, this relationship wasn't so ok anymore. I still participated in it though. Especially that summer, but I'm not going to get into all the gory details.

Now onto the next song.

And that just about sums up how I feel now.

And I credit life coaching for helping me walk away a year ago. I did it in steps.

I am now able to allow new guys into my life and actually contemplate new relationships where before that wouldn't have even entered my mind.

Imagine 12 years of maybe going on a couple of dates with a guy but not really committing yourself to them because you were committed to a guy who was more committed to alcohol than you. Not fun. He once was dating 2 other girls at the same time as me & I discovered it. I quit talking to him for a week before he showed up on my porch & weaseled his way back in.

I can see it all quite clearly....NOW.

Do you know why I write all this? Because I want you, my readers to realize I am a real person. I have been through crap just like you. Maybe you and I have been in similar situations. I can relate to what you are going through.

I am this girl. I have been there, done that. I want to help you get to where you want to be. I had someone help me get away. Sometimes it's too hard to do it on your own.

Is today my lucky day?

2010-09-20T07:32:00.000-07:00

It is my birthday.

I'm turning 29 today....shhhhh

I did a guest post about life coaching on PhitZones blog & he posted it today of all days!!

Awesome, right!

Here it is http://bit.ly/bEdLSj

Then I am listed as a top story on the reneeporsia Daily!

So it has to be my lucky day, right??

http://paper.li/reneeporsia

Reiki.....what??

2010-09-16T07:17:00.000-07:00

So 2 days ago I got some Reiki on.

And now you are saying you did what Amy??

Let me give you some background.

I met a wonderful person on Facebook, Jess is her name.

Here is her profile.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1065445915

She does Reiki. Friend her. She's pretty great.

Now according to wikipedia the definition of reiki is a spiritual practice developed in 1922 by Japanese Buddhist Mikao Usui. It uses a technique commonly called palm healing as a form of complementary and alternative medicine and is sometimes classified as oriental medicine by some professional bodies. Through the use of this technique, practitioners believe that they are transferring healing energy in the form of ki through the palms.

And here is my experience with it.

Jess told me to go lay down somewhere where it was quiet. No distractions. I

turned the computer volume down and the cell phone to silent.

Went to the bedroom and laid on the bed.

At times I felt some heaviness. Like it was coming down on me. I had no clue

how long to lay there. Usually Reiki is done in person, I believe, but Jess does it

long distance too. I felt at peace. I laid there for a good 15 minutes after she

was done. I almost fell asleep.

Afterwards when I got up, Jess said she could tell I was emotionally drained,

which I am.

She also asked about my heart. I've recently had a broken heart. she did not

know this.

She said she felt a heavy heart.

She told me I may feel emotional & I said I was already emotional so it would

just blend.

However the next morning, which was yesterday, I was just plum exhausted.

When I returned home from dropping my daughter off from school I fell back

asleep and slept until after 11am. Jess said that my body was doing what it

needed to do.

I think Reiki is awesome!

I think everyone should experience this.

Believe a little.

Reflections

2010-09-03T03:46:00.000-07:00

August marked an important anniversary for me. It has been 1 year since my life crisis that catapulted me into life coaching & the life I am now living.

Most people around me know nothing about this life crisis.

Last August while my daughter was in Florida without me, I suddenly & violently almost, realized I was incredibly unhappy.

And I did not know what to do about it.

I didn't know how to fix it, what I wanted to do instead of what I was doing, or where to go from there. I couldn't stop crying. Then came the drinking. I was drunk a lot of nights while my daughter was gone. I am not afraid to admit it or tell you all about it. I was lost. Did not know what to do. I just knew I was unhappy & I wanted it to change.

I quickly found life coaching and new it was for me.

Coaching has helped me to have another anniversary that I will be celebrating in September. Don't worry, I will blog about it too.

Through life coaching, I have learned how to be a better person. I have remained positive for the most part throughout this past year. I know that sometimes you have to take a step back & evaluate situations & decide whether or not it's even worth your time & energy. I used to waste a lot of energy.

Now I am creating a program to train life coaches myself. I am so grateful for life coaching & how it has changed my life. I want to give back & help others.

Characteristics of an Internet Child Predator

2010-08-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

I am going to list some characteristics of a child predator, but it's important to remember that they do not all meet these characteristics. There are always those predators who are outside the box that experts have identified.

-The average child predator is male & over the age of 25.

-he could be considered the guy down the street who kept to himself.

-the loner type, very few friends, & typically not married.

-most often has limited social skills, but a propensity to engage in conversation with an adolescent or child.

-tends to become shy with adults of his own age.

-seeks out jobs that allow him to work around children.

Child predators come from all walks of life, some are rich, some are poor, some are educated and some are not.

They usually have a sexually abusive or violent background.

Child predators usually see nothing wrong with their behavior.

They will target numerous children at a time.

They will take their time to groom their victims & their words are very thought out.

Once trust is built, blackmail & guilt are often used to get the child to succumb to their demands.

As a parent, you need to create open dialogue with your child & set clear rules regarding the computer & internet usage.

Watch what they are doing online, but do it openly.

Set trust between you and your child.

Be honest & tell them what can happen.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to contact me.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

What do you think online seduction leads to??

2010-08-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

If the predator has his way, it leads to rape & torture.

The online predator spends all this time grooming the intended victim...then they talk them into meeting them face to face.

at a hotel room....

or sometimes even right outside the child's house.

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Alicias-Story-Kidnapped-and-Held-Captive

This does happen...it could happen to your child. Be smart, get educated.

I hate to be the one to point out the cold hard facts, but someone has to. Not everyone can remain silent.

On the average, 1 woman is being raped somewhere in the United States every minute of the day.

1 out of every 4 women born in this country will be raped at some point in her life.

According to FBI statistics, in the US alone, more than 100,000 women report being raped each year & an additional 400,000 to 900,000 women are raped but do not report the crime.

Most rapes go unreported & fewer than 10% of reported rapists go to jail.

Most rapists are still out walking the streets, free to rape again.

Now I do not say these things to scare you.

It's important to know what you are up against. It's important to know the facts.

It's important to be educated.

Rape occurs anytime a person is forced or coerced, physically or through verbal threats, into any type of sexual contact with another person, whether the assailant is a friend, an acquaintance, an employer or fellow employee, a husband or a stranger.

Each of us probably knows at least 1 other person who has been raped.

If you have been raped, you are not alone. There is help.

No matter what you could have done differently, the rapist- NOT you- is to blame for the assault.

Whatever you are thinking in your head that you did or that other people have told you you should have done differently, you did NOT deserve to be raped!

Sure you were probably doing things you usually do & you got hurt this time, but that doesn't mean you should have known better or done things differently.

There is help for you.

If you feel this is something I can help you through, please email me.
You do not have to go through this alone.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

What children are at risk?

2010-08-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Some young people are particularly vulnerable to online predators.

May display some of the following traits:

~new online & unfamiliar with netiquette. But even the most web savvy teens can be seduced by predators who are good at what they do.

~Actively seeking attention or affection

~Rebellious

~isolated/lonely

~Curious

~Confused regarding sexual identity

~Easily tricked by adults

~Allured by subcultures outside of parents' world.

Here are some characteristics of typical victims:

-most but not all victims are between the age of 12 & 15

-Most victims have an instant message account but haven't set up privacy or security settings & willingly engage in conversations with strangers.

-live in suburban or rural towns

-are very sheltered & naive

-tend to be loners with few offline friends.

-tend to spend more than 90 minutes online after homework per day

-are secretive about their internet activities

-tend to have few activities outside of the internet.

Just because your child matches one or more of these characteristics does not mean they are being targeted by predators. However, your child is not perfectly safe if they match none of these characteristics.

Be an involved parent. Ask your child questions. Explain why you want to know this info.

Open & honest.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me for a FREE consultation.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Online grooming~~ How a predator picks their victims

2010-08-22T18:02:00.000-07:00

An online predator goes online & searches until he sees a potential victim who fits his age, gender, & other preferences. These will vary from predator to predator.

The predator begins to gather info about the potential victim.

This is how he/she bonds with the victim. They find out what they like & dislike, what kind of home life they have.

Predator will look at the child's demeanor, personality, dress, & financial status.

They are looking for the child's interests & vulnerabilities at the same time.

Now this process doesn't occur over night. It usually goes on for months.

Predators prefer children of a single mom. Think about it...the mom usually has to work which means the child is home alone if old enough. They have more time to play around online without interruption.

Predators are skilled at knowing the emotional & physical needs of children.

And they prey on these needs.

As I've stated before, teens are vulnerable emotionally. A predator talks to them like a friend. Consoling them, agreeing with them. Makes the child identify with the predator & creates the bond.

The predator begins to talk to them more & more. Emailing. Possibly texting.

They sometimes wait a bit before introducing sexual stuff in the conversation.

But there are always those who jump right in.

Sometimes even if the child doesn't feel comfortable with this type of talk, they go along with it because they do not want to lose this new friendship with this person who supposedly completely understands them.

If your child doesn't have a webcam, the predator may purchase one for them & mail it over. Be on the lookout for this. Prohibit webcams.

Stress to your child that once you email, post, or text a photo of yourself, it's out there & you can never get it back.

Kids do not always get that. They think that whoever they are sending that picture to would never share it. Well, these predators will! It will show up online somewhere you do not want it & may never know it's there most likely.

The predator may start sending gifts too. Be on the lookout for this as well.

Could mean your child has already started sending pics, but could just be a way for the predator to better bond with your child.

They are weaseling their way in by buying your child.

This is the beginning of the process and if you keep your eyes open, you can see it happening.

Have any questions? feel free to contact me

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Grooming....do you know what it is?

2010-08-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager?

You feel lonely..lost. Everyone is against you.

Today it's even more difficult to suffer through the teenage years with the internet.

There's online bullying for starters. But that's a whole other post.

Grooming is the process predators use to bond with their victim.

It's how they develop a close relationship with the child.

It can be compared to seduction.

Online predators gradually seduce their potential victims through the use of attention, affection, kindness, & gifts. They are willing to devote considerable amounts of time, money, & energy to this process.

The predators will be aware of the latest music & hobbies likely to interest kids & will listen to & sympathize with kids' problems.

They also try to lower young people's inhibitions by gradually introducing sexual content into their conversations.

Because victims have been carefully seduced, they often do not realize that they are victims.

If teens & their parents keep their eyes open, this process can be picked up on & interrupted.

The most important thing parents can do is keep an open & honest relationship with their children. Tell them about the warnings & signs I have posted. Talk to them often.

If you have any questions at all, please do not hesitate to contact me for a free consultation.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Tips for parents about online safety

2010-08-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

~Talk to your child. Be open and honest. Find examples of cyber seduction and show them to your child. Educate them.

~Set clear rules regarding the computer & internet usage. Be prepared to back up your rules.

~Understand what your child is doing online. Have them show you where they go & their social networking profiles.

~Monitor their online accounts & email. Also their cell phones. Do this out in the open. Let them know why you are doing it too.

~Instruct your child not to post their address or phone number publicly.

~Keep the computer in a common area of the house instead of the bedroom.

~Instruct your child not to add strangers as friends on social networking sites.

~Prohibit web-cams

~Teach your child the responsible use of the resources online.

~Understand, even if your child was a willing participant in any form of sexual exploitation, that he/she is not at fault & is the victim.

Full Circle

2010-07-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

I want to keep everyone updated on what I am doing & the changes going on in my own life because they will be reflected here in my blog.

I have recently experienced a lot of changes in my life.

I had a breakthrough about a week ago.

I knew I was heading in a new direction.

Knew I was going down a new path & wanted to reach out to new people, but just didn't know who until I opened the paper on Saturday morning. I began reading an article about a local teenager and her family who basically went to hell and back. (http://www.kalynssecret.com/)

It just hit me like a ton of bricks!

I want to work with abuse victims.

I want to work with parents of teens.

I want to help them see the warning signs of cyber seduction.

I want to help prevent this.

I have always known this.

But when I was starting off as a life coach I was led down a different path because the people I was working with believed there wasn't any money in this type of work.

But here I am almost a year later & it's all come back to me.

I am embarking on a new journey and this time I will not be swayed.

I am also considering starting a training program for other people like myself to be trained to be life coaches who want to help heal.

Now back to that Saturday. I read that article, which I still have by the way. I may just keep it forever and then I felt the very powerful need to tell these people thank you! So I did just that!

They had a book signing at Barnes & Noble this past Saturday. I went & purchased the book, had them sign it. Told them what I do, what I plan on doing & how the article influenced me. Told them thank you & shook their hands.

Remember that when you show gratitude, the Universe gives you more to be grateful for. I saw just that.

So I want to continue to be motivational and inspirational with my blog, but I also want to be informative about this new area I am going into. I will be doing lots of research in the area of cyber seduction and online predators. I have attended many conferences on these areas already with the child advocacy center when I was there. I remember the horror stories. I want to be about prevention. I always hear so much about intervention.

Prevention can be taught.

You do not have to lock your children up.

You just have to keep your eyes open.

Do not be blind.

Do not not see what you do not want to see.

So again, I just wanted to keep everyone informed.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.

I appreciate each and every one of you.

~amy

Appreciation is magic

2010-07-18T19:13:00.001-07:00

It is always nice to feel appreciated.

Some people seek out the need to feel appreciated.

If you are one of these people, try doing the things in this list.

I wrote these tips while I was being certified as a Life Coach.

I still happen to think they are pretty great!

8 Tips/Keys on Appreciation:

1. Ask your children/loved ones to tell you 1 thing they appreciate about you each night before bed.

2. A few appreciative words can motivate you to work harder.

3. Lead by example- Never forget to say thanks or how appreciative you are.

4. Graciously accept the appreciation- always say thank you for noticing.

5. Take the time to celebrate the small things you do well every day.

6. Convert your compliments into acknowledgements.

Ex. Excellent lasagna- you are a great cook!

7. When you take the time to show appreciation for someone else, you may just make their day when it's only cost you a few moments of yours.

8. Appreciate yourself, say it out loud. Who cares what the person next to you thinks! You are fabulous!

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

Put on a Happy Face

2010-07-13T07:43:00.000-07:00

A smile makes people feel welcome and comfortable!

It is hard to stay in a bad mood when you a smile on your face.

Life has its winners & losers, but nobody's born a winner.

You have to learn how to win. If you do not, you automatically train yourself to lose.

Losing doesn't have to be a life sentence.....We aren't born ineffective.

It is never too late to restore the dream.

All it takes is the will to top the deepest capacity that's within you, embrace it, claim it, make it your own.

True awakening is not something you jump out of bed and just do. Unless you just happen to be born perfect, it takes effort to work on yourself & grow, to correct the weaknesses & develop the combination of skills, attitudes, & personal character that add up to a winning way of life.

You cannot possibly become what you wish to be by remaining what you are.

Our disappointments are almost never anybody else's fault. They are largely our own doing, the result of failing to learn how to deal successfully with other people.

Look for personal power at home, on the job, or out in the community.

You will find people who have a knack of dealing with people in meaningful & enjoyable ways that bring personal satisfaction to all concerned.

Only when you recognize & understand that the impact of your behavior causes people to respond to you in the ways that rob you of confidence & undermine power, can you hope to find a way around your mistakes.

But understanding yourself is only half of the process. Doing something about it is the rest.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

a favor

2010-07-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

Author – unknown

Just up the road from my home is a field, with two horses in it.

From a distance, each horse looks like any other horse. But if you stop your car, or are walking by, you will notice something quite amazing.....

Looking into the eyes of one horse will disclose that he is blind. His owner has chosen not to have him put down, but has made a good home for him.

This alone is amazing.

If you stand nearby and listen, you will hear the sound of a bell.
Looking around for the source of the sound, you will see that it comes from the smaller horse in the field.

Attached to the horse's halter is a small bell

It lets the blind friend know where the other horse is, so he can follow.

As you stand and watch these two friends,
you'll see that the horse with the bell is always checking on the blind horse,
and that the blind horse will listen for the bell and then slowly walk
to where the other horse is,
trusting that he will not be led astray.

When the horse with the bell returns
to the shelter of the barn each evening,
it stops occasionally and looks back,
making sure that the blind friend isn't too far behind to hear the bell.

Like the blind horse,
we should not be thrown away just because we are not perfect
or because we have problems or challenges.

Sometimes we are the blind horse
being guided by the little ringing bell of those who are placed in our lives.
Other times we are the guide horse, helping others to find their way....
Good friends are like that .... you may not always see them, but you know they are always there.

Please listen for my bell and I'll listen for yours.
And remember...
be kinder than necessary -
everyone you meet is fighting
some kind of battle.

Live simply,
Love generously,
Care deeply,
Speak kindly....

To stay or not to stay....

2010-07-05T07:27:00.000-07:00

Are you in a relationship & you are trying to figure out if you should stay or leave it behind?

There is no magic formula for whether one should stay or go.

It is an individual decision that should not be taken lightly.

You should not stay in something only because you are afraid of being alone.

You should not commit to someone because you are afraid you will never find anyone else.

Every relationship is going to have its up & downs.

If two people are committed to making things work & they still love each other as partners & friends, they have a great chance of growing as a couple.

It is up to you to decide though.

Are you or are you not currently happy in your relationship?

Is your partner also dissatisfied?

Are you constantly looking to your partner to make you happy?

Remember that just because you aren't happy doesn't mean there's anything critically wrong in your relationship. You could be blaming your partner for your unhappiness, when you need to take responsibility for creating your own happiness.

On the flipside, there could be fundamental problems that need to be addressed.

If you have been unhappy for awhile & your partner isn't intersted in working to improve the relationship, it may be time for you to explore your options.

If there are fundamental problems, have you sought out help?

If you still care for your partner, don't throw in the towel before you have given it your all.

No matter the final outcome, you will feel at peace that you gave it your best effort.

Do not let fear be the decision maker.

If you are extremely unhappy in a relationship & you have tried several methods of reconciliation, then it may be time to take a break.

So many people assume it is a black or white issue, meaning you either stay together or completely break up.

There's always a gray area to explore if you choose.

Temporarily separate in order to rethink your options & see how it feels to be aloen.

Each & every one of you is stronger than you may think.

Make sure you either leave for the right reasons or stay for the right reasons.

need some life help?

I am here for you

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

what do I say??

2010-06-23T16:35:00.000-07:00

Last week my world was turned upside down by the very thing I am constantly talking to you about.

Yes, I am talking about a guy.

I was happy and it was suddenly and shockingly ripped from me.

And I did things that I tell other females not to.

I acted rashly.

I didn't allow myself to back away from the situation and look at the big picture.

I was not going to die, but I sure felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest.

I allowed this guy into my life. Allowed myself to care for him. Allowed him into my heart. Allowed myself to feel for him.....then he bailed on me.

Typical story, right?

All I could think was why did I do this to myself...

I wasn't given reasons or explanations. I was confused and hurt.

Well, I'm here to say it's been a week & I've bounced back.

I want to be honest with the people who read my blog & the people who follow me, the people who care about what I have to say.

I have been through this stuff too.

I know what it feels like and it doesn't feel good.

Now I know that I will go on. I still want him. But I have plans for my future. I still care about him that hasn't changed.

However, now is time for me. I must take this time to focus on me and my future. My business & what I plan for my future.

I am strong. I shall survive.

Raise your standards & Believe in yourself!

2010-05-25T15:15:00.000-07:00

Be honest.....Are you completely confident and secure in your own shoes?

Do you believe in your own abilities?

.....or are you constantly questioning who you are as a person?

We all have our past, the experiences that shape who we are today. BUT those experiences do not have to shape your future.

If you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to believe in you?

It is important to think highly enough of yourself and your capabilities in order to portray a positive image to others. Otherwise you will just reek of negativity and people will not want to be around you because you will bring them down with you.

Each and every one of us is born with special gifts and distinctive traits. The key is knowing what yours are.

See yourself as others see you. Embrace all that you offer & everything you contribute to those around you.

Try this exercise to lift your spirits & open your eyes about yourself.:

Take out a piece of paper. Review your life and list all of your achievements. You can write down anything and everything you view as an achievement. The event doesn't have to be a huge one to be viewed as an achievement in your eyes. List as many as you can. If you get stumped, ask loved ones & friends to help out.

Once finished, step back & take a long look at your list. Then pat yourself on the back.

You did all that! Yes, you!

In order to raise your standards & believe in yourself, you need to embrace self confidence.

Everytime you talk negatively about yourself or others, it lowers your standards so just stop it.

Don't be the one to gossip or talk down to others; take the high road with class & respect.

When we talk negatively, it exudes a negative energy toward people. You can literally feel the negative energy when you meet someone like this.

Stand tall & radiate self-confidence & positive vibes.

Need some life help?

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Shush that Negative Voice in your Head

2010-05-22T06:36:00.000-07:00

Going through a typical day, what does the predominant voice in your head sound like?

~ Do you hear mostly encouraging positive words like "good job" or "you can do that"?

~or are they self-defeating & negative such as "I can't believe you did that" & "you aren't smart enough"?

Sometimes we hear these words so often that we become immune to their impact on our daily lives & well-being.

It is truly amazing how profoundly these words can affect all of the decisions we make in our life.

The 1st step to become aware of the dialogue that goes on inside your head & then you can choose to replace the negative words with more constructive words.

How would it feel if you were your own biggest cheerleader? Wouldn't it feel empowering to rely on yourself to lift your spirits?

You are simply breaking down the core of who you are when you are constantly putting yourself down.

There are many things in life that you have absolutely no control over. The voice in your head however is completely under your control. You can pick & choose the words that fly around on a daily basis.

It all starts with your mind & your thoughts, & then naturally other areas of your life are able to shift positively as well.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Cleaning up your relationships....

2010-05-19T06:33:00.000-07:00

As I'm sure you have noticed, I am a big believer in making room for the new.

You may think that is a crude way to put this, but it's simply the truth.

In order to make room for the awesome new people who are destined to cross paths with you, you must make room for them.

And this means, you must clear out some of the old relationships that are not benefiting you anymore.

Ask yourself this:

How does it feel to be surrounded by people who make you feel good about yourself?

These people celebrate the person you are & support you to the best you can be.

How does it feel to be around people who drain your energy?

These individuals focus on the negatives & provide very little encouragement or joy to the relationship.

Obviously when I am talking about clearing out relationships, I'm talking about the latter.

We all know these people. Just cut ties. You do not need this constant drain.

You have many choices in your life, but choosing who to surround yourself with is essential to your physical & emotional well-being.

Now is the time for you to re-evaluate the relationships in your life & determine a course of action. Give yourself permission to spring clean the people in your life. You have the choice & ability to surround yourself with individuals who genuinely contribute to your growth & happiness.

People grow in different directions & sometimes choose to take seperate paths.

It is no ones fault.

Sometimes you may feel that a relationship is worth salvaging & that you're not quite ready to let it go. If this is the case, then it's important that you set some clear boundaries & let the other person know what changes need to be made.

If you do not communicate, nothing will change.

The people you choose to surround yourself with are a true reflection of who you are & what you value in life.

Life is far too short to spend time & energy on things that do not have much value.

If someone is holding you back form being the amazing being that you are, it's ok to stand tall & move on.

Do you need some life help?

Like my style?

email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Excuses.....

2010-05-17T15:50:00.000-07:00

Does this sound like you?

~you have great desires, but the motivation or drive just isn't there.

~sometimes you are just clearly unmotivated to do anything.

If this is every now & then it would not be a big deal.

It's easy to come up with excuses to put off your dreams, goals, & aspirations. Otherwise there would be no need for personal trainers, therapists, self help gurus or even life coaches like me in the world.

But....where have these excuses gotten you? The exact same place you are today & the same place you will be tomorrow unless you do something about them. NOW

Why not commit to taking action today, not tomorrow, even if it's a very small step.

Stop waiting for your life to change for you, you need to change for your life.

Sometimes it helps to look at what you can accomplish every day, instead of looking at the large picture. Looking at a goal in its entirety is sometimes so overwhelming that it stops you in your tracks.

Anything is possible if you just break a goal down into bite size chunks. Do not set yourself up to fail by creating unrealistic expectations.

If a goal is important enough to you, you will find the means to make it happen.

Going for it is about taking one step after another, not worrying about the destination, just surviving the journey. Just go at your own pace, because it's your journey, no one else's.

Contact me if you think you may need some life help.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Toxic Relationships

2010-04-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

I don't just mean male~female relationships. These can be friendships and even family member relationships. Sometimes you just have to break the ties.

You need to be able to recognize when a relationship is toxic to you.

Is this person always criticizing you, always bringing you down, always trying to make you feel bad?

Get away now.

Yes, even if it's a family member.

It's okay to distance yourself from these people.

You are meant to be all that you are meant to be.

Do not let anyone get in your way.

Do not let anyone hold you back.

Do not let anyone tell you any different!

For every step forward you make, there will always be someone there trying to knock you down 3. It is up to you to hold your own.

It is up to you to know that you are stronger than those words.

You are better that what they say.

You are you & you deserve it all!

I tend to use myself as examples quite a bit. Tonights post is a result of how I am feeling right at this moment. I am lifting myself up.

I hope it does the same for all of you.

Like what I have to say?

Like my style?

Need a little life help?

I'm your girl.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

It's ok to make the 1st move......really

2010-04-20T09:17:00.000-07:00

so you see this guy......you think he's kinda hot. You'd really love to talk to him, but you've been taught that it's the guys job to make the first move.

Come on!

Get off your butt & do something about your single girl status!

Or it just won't change.

Are you in a bar? Motion the bartender...tell them you want to order him a drink. Yes, this is ok.

Guys are in the bar to meet girls. Why are you there??

Smile at him, catch his eye.

Better yet, get up, go over & say hello.

Not that brave. Make up an excuse to talk to him. Whatever it takes.

Sometimes a guy is just as shy and nervous as you. Remember that. They don't want to be rejected either. They need a sign that you are willing and interested to talk. Give it to him.

The trick to starting a conversation is using an icebreaker. A small remark or question that can be directed toward absolutely anyone. Something that seems spur of the moment, unintentional, & casual.

Make the meeting look almost accidental.

Ask the time, or say don't you go to my gym..... think of a list of ice breakers beforehand so you don't get nervous and forget how to speak.

You aren't asking him out. You are just being friendly and sociable.

Keep it casual and you will get the result you want.

Need some life help?

Like my style?

msg me

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Don't Drink & Date...

2010-03-18T07:33:00.000-07:00

This should be obvious, but just isn't to some, so I will spell it out.

When you date, do not drink.

You think, O will just have 1.

Well, that 1 turns into 5 and next think you know.......

It's easy to lose count of how many drinks you've had when you are having a good time. And that is precisely when you don't want to lose count. I know and you know that you didn't plan on getting drunk. You just got caught up in the moment and the good time.

But next thing you know you're waking up the next morning in some guys bed whose never going to call you again.....end of story.

This is not what you want.

This is not what you are striving for.

You never want to drink on the first date!!

Drinking not only causes you to lose your inhibitions-as mentioned above- it can also make you do or say certain things that just are not appropriate on a first date.

Some girls think a couple of drinks to take the edge off is ok, but some just don't know their limit. So I say NO to any drinking on the first date. Politely decline.

Alcohol can give you a false sense of confidence.

Alcohol can also cause you to drunk dial. Something you don't want to do ever.

If you feel you cannot limit your drinks, date during the day.

the silent no.....

2010-03-12T16:07:00.001-08:00

How can you tell when you are getting the silent no from a guy??

I can hear it now, Coach Amy, What is the Silent no???

Well, girls.....it's when a guy decides he doesn't really want to see you any more and he is too coward to come right out and say it so he beats around the bush instead.

For example, he may stop calling so much hoping you will get the hint or he may start getting busier and seeing you less so he doesn't have to spell it out to you.

BUT a lot of girls do not pick up on what is going on and they do the opposite.

If he stops calling, they start calling.

If he stops coming to their place, they start going to his.

These girls make it impossible for him to break it off.

Another sign of the silent no is he still sleeps over, but there's no sex.

So in this scenario, you must listen to a man's actions instead of his words. Watch the signs once again.

Now you are asking why would he keep you around if he doesn't have strong feelings for you??

1. He's a coward~It's easier to continue than to tell you it's over. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

2. He's bored~ He likes you but not enough to be exclusive. If someone he really likes comes along, he will hang out with you because you keep him busy on his lonely nights.

3. He's insecure~ you validate that he is good-looking & worthy. He would rather have someone than be alone.

4. He's using you~ he calls when he needs something & it's on his terms.

Common Excuses:

I'm not sure I can handle my job & being in a relationship right now.

My ex really scarred me & I'm scared to get close to anyone.

When a guy says this we think we can help solve his problems, but counseling him and trying to change his mind will not do any good. These are not the real reasons he doesn't want to see you.

Don't make him spell it out. Be smarter than that. Don't make it harder on yourself than it has to be. Read the signs. Turn and walk away with your head held high.

Like my style??

need some help?

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

a sense of urgency

2010-03-10T16:54:00.000-08:00

The object is to create a sense of urgency in him. Make him think time is running out.

Your time is valuable & you need to be the first person to treat it that way!

When you first start dating someone, you should give him 2 choices of when he can see you and one of them should be a week night.

Your ultimate goal is to have him asking when you are available not the other way around.

If he is still repeatedly telling you when he is available, you are NOT creating enough urgency.

He must feel as if the pressure is not coming from your need to get married. Do not harrass him.

Do not say when are we going to get married.

Make a timetable~ ask yourself how long are you willing to date someone before deciding he's the one.

How long do you need to be certain?

How long will you date someone before making it official?

If you don't create urgency in yourself first & foremost, you will not ever be able to create any urgency with him.

You don't want to waste 10 years with a man who is never going to marry you. ~ It is easy to just let time slip away.

If you have found the right guy & you want to marry him, you need to decide how long you are willing to wait for him to propose. ~~ Doesn't matter what the length of time is as long as you set it & it's on your terms.

If you decide 4 years is long enough & that deadline has past, then you have to go.

Time to move on.

Stick to your guns.

Do not Share your timetable with him.

Like what I have to say......

Need some help......

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

You want what others have.......true or false?

2010-03-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

By name it's called the Jones Effect. It means you want what other people have. We as people believe if someone else likes what we like, it validates it as good.

Most women do not want the guy they like to think they are into someone else because then he may get discouraged and give up. WRONG!!!!!

Bring it on Sister!

This is a huge misconception.

Guys are competitive by nature.

All he sees is someone else wanting you. That is a good thing. Other men should want you.

Seeing you talk to other men will not scare him off. It should only fuel the fire.

When you first start dating someone, you want it to be pretty obvious that other men find you attractive. Talk and be friendly with the men around you. Don't go overboard though.

It's fine for him to think you are out with other guys. Don't explain where you are or who you are with. He isn't your daddy. You want him to question if you have another date.

Don't hide the fact that you have guy friends.

You don't have to ignore guys at a party.

Don't be obvious, but don't hide it either.

Fuel the flame, girl. See where it gets you......

Like my style? Need some dating help? Need some life in general help?

message me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

I'm here for you

There's no such thing as mixed messages

2010-02-24T15:26:00.000-08:00

You just have to know how to read them.......

A man's feelings are not black & white.

~he asks for your number but doesn't call....

~he calls but not regularly.....

~all over you one night but not the next.....

?????

These are all clear signs of of moderate to low interest. If you are my client, I would tell you to drop this dude fast! Most gals would continue to blow up the guy's phone though. Not the right path to take......

Being persistent will not make him like you more if he's displaying these signs. It will do the opposite. Better to cut your losses now.

Here are some signs of interest:

~the look-when a guy is interested, you will catch his eye. He will stop & look.

~Questions-when he's interested, he wants to know things about you. He will ask.

~Change in attitude & mannerisms- there may be a sudden change in his tone of voice, attitude or posture, he may become friendlier or chattier.

Bottom line~~When a guy is interested he basically tells you before you can ask if you open your eyes & pay attention. Learn to read the signs.

There are no such things as mixed messages. The signs are very clear as long as you know what you are looking at.

Need some help....I'm here for you... your_girl_amy@gmail.com

Filling your funnel.......

2010-02-06T08:12:00.000-08:00

funny saying, huh?

Well, it actually means never let the dating pool dry up.

Date many guys at once until you find the one you want to settle down with.

This works for 3 reasons:

1. you don't get attached too soon~ you aren't sitting at home thinking about Mr. 1 and only. You will drive yourself crazy by obsessing about a man. When you see him again, he will know you've been sitting around waiting too.

2. You won't be a complete wreck if things don't work out~ your confidence won't be shattered if one relationship doesn't work out because you have others.

3. Your odds are better~ the more men you date, the more likely you are to find the one.

Attracting Attention.......

2010-01-20T08:49:00.001-08:00

and now you say Coach Amy, I'm with a flock of other girls, how are the guys going to notice me?

This is true. Girls go out with other girls. A gaggle of them. Anywhere from 5 to 10.

The goal is to look different. You must make yourself stick out from the pack.

I know that this scares some girls to death. They want no more than to blend in.

But if you spend you life blending, you Mr. Right may never notice you.

Men love it when you give them a reason to come talk to you. A great reason to talk is something about your outfit. So make yourself stand out with your clothes for starters.

You need a couple of staple outfits that are sure to get you noticed.

If you know that certain items in your wardrobe drum up a lot of attention, then wear them often.

Now, I don't mean party girl clothes because as I often say if you look like a party girl, that is how you will be treated. We dress for the role we want.

Try some new styles that are a little unusual & see what kind of reaction you get.

Women are constantly copying each other & want to look like celebrities. They follow trends and replicate images they see.

This is a big no no in the dating world. You want to stand out from the pack. You want the guys to notice you instead of the other 10 girls you are with.

You do not want to blend in & if you are all dressed like the celeb you saw in the magazine, you are going to look alike.

In order to stand out, you do not have to be more attractive than everyone else.

Don't shy away from something that makes you different. Embrace it!

Remember, fitting in & looking like everyone else is boring.

And who wants boring day in & day out?

Like what I have to say?

Like my style?

Need some dating advice or just some life coaching?

Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

How do I prospect???

2010-01-14T18:24:00.000-08:00

If you are serious about meeting guys, then you will dedicate time to find/meet new guys. Modify your agenda to allow time to prospect.

Where are the guys you ask?

happy hours

work functions

sports bars

restaurant openings

pool halls

coffee shops

Basically just try new places.

The smart way to prospect is to go where the most opportunity is. Ask yourself, if I were a guy where would I be?

Change up your daily routine~ go to a different grocery store, switch gyms, try a different church.

It's really about putting yourself in different places at different times.

I must also say, yes, meeting guys at clubs & bars is totally possible. It's the exact reason they are there.

Most importantly, you must remember you can meet a guy anywhere!

Put more effort into your appearance. You just never know when you will meet the one.

Like my style?

Need some dating advice?

How about 1 month for $200~ That's 4, 45 min sessions for $200!

Limited time only!

Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Meeting the Family

2010-01-13T15:07:00.000-08:00

Ever wanted a handwritten guide to go by when you were meeting your boyfriend's family for the first time?

Well, here's one.

No matter where the first meeting with your man's family takes place, dress as if you are going to church.

Be polite. (duh, right)

Be correct

Insist he introduce you to everyone & stay with you for the first 5 minutes of any conversation.

Do more listening than talking~ you don't want them to think you are full of yourself right off the bat.

Limit yourself to 1 or 2 drinks no matter how much anyone else is drinking.

Arrive on time & leave early.

Simple to follow. I am direct & to the point.

Like my style? Want to hire me?

Email me, your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Changes

2010-01-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

So there are going to be some changes going on around here.

From now on my blog will be focusing on dating.

Only.

I will be the Girl Power Dating Coach now.

I have been working with a mentor & she has helped pull some info out of me.

I want to empower girls to become confident, sassy, & strong women!

So be on the lookout for lots of great dating advice.

I plan on leading teleseminars.

I am going to have packages for coaching.

All kinds of great stuff to come so keep your eyes open.....

Tips for a Good 1st Date.....

2009-12-24T17:50:00.000-08:00

1. Think Positively~ think about your wonderful attributes & not your faults. Take inventory of your skills, values, talents, interests, & heart. Leave all negative thoughts at home. You are absolutely wonderful & he's a fool if he doesn't realize it.

2. Keep Expectations in Check~ Do not start imagining yourself at the alter with your date. Do not jump the gun.

3. Dress Appropriately~ Be presentable, neat, well-groomed & in casual dress clothes. Strive to look like the girl next door & someone who would be proper to bring home to mom.

4. Pick a Quiet Place to Talk~ coffee shop or bookstores are good. Do not get involved in a meal because then paying may become an issue. No movies.

5. 1-2 hours tops~ the purpose is to get a feel for the person. Do not drag the date on. Leave something to the imagination.

There are 10 tips in all.......
email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

when someone disapoints you

2009-12-22T17:03:00.000-08:00

We all face disappointment everyday in some way, shape, or form.
You cannot dwell upon it.
You must look at all the positive & good in your life & concentrate on that to get you through the feelings you feel when disappointed.

I tell myself, take a deep breath & shake it off.
I sometimes actually say it out loud!
Then I shake my hands as if I were actually shaking something off of myself.

It may sound pretty funny, but it works. I repeat this until I feel better.

Another way to cope with day to day disappointment & other feelings, is to journal.
I try to write in my own journal every night before going to bed.
I recommend writing before bedtime because it helps to free your mind of all those thoughts so that you can sleep better.

Remember, what you think about, you bring about.
If you are dwelling upon your feelings of disappointment, you will attract more disappointment me to yourself.
Like attracts like.

Positive thoughts are the way to go.
Think about anything positive when you feel your thoughts drifting. Say your affirmations. Either out loud or to yourself. Doesn't matter. The universe & the Higher Good still hears you when you think them.

How can you boost your metabolism?

2009-12-20T18:08:00.000-08:00

1. Eat more~ often that is. The iconic 3 hearty meals (breakfast, lunch, supper) is very unhealthy for your body. The calories taken in during larger meals are stored as fat, while smaller meals throughout the day give you a boost of energy which you can slowly burn off.

2. Maintain a healthy diet~ what you eat is equally important. You need to eat an appropriate balanced diet full of protein & carbs. Eating whole foods instead of processed foods helps your body burn calories.

3. Lift weights~ mass will slowly replace stored fat. As you build muscle mass, your metabolism will begin to increase.

4. Pickup your cardio~ increases heart rate & allows you to breathe heavier. 20-30 min during weekdays should do the trick. You don't need to run a marathon. Just exercise in moderation. Start slow & build it up.

Need some extra help losing that weight?
Need some motivation or just someone in your corner cheering you on?
Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Weight Loss Motivation Tips

2009-12-08T20:17:00.000-08:00

Everyone needs a little motivation on their weight loss journey.
Here are a few tips to help you along the way

1.Role Model~ Have a role model. Someone who eats healthily & works out regularly. Notice how that person acts around food, what they eat & how they eat. How do they fit exercise in?

2. Lose your clothes as you lose weight~ Get rid of any clothes that are too big as soon as you lose weight. Anyone with a fat set of clothes in the closet is expecting to fit them again & actions follow expectations.

3. Take inspiration from others~ read weight loss magazines. Cut out inspirational stories. If they can do it, so can you.

4. Take progress photos each month~ Take a pic of yourself in your swimsuit at the start of your weight loss journey. Each month take another picture wearing the same thing so you can see your progress.

5. Reward yourself~ Boost your weight loss motivation by promising yourself a treat when you reach your goals. Doesn't have to be food related. Ex. new clothes

I have more tips, of course

Email me for weight loss coaching. your_girl_amy@yahoo.com
Sometimes you just need someone in your corner.

Know Your Product~ You, Silly!

2009-12-03T20:44:00.000-08:00

I know that you have heard it a million times, but I am going to say it again.
Maybe this time it will stick.
No one can love you until you love yourself.
It's true!

Before stepping out on the playing field, there are a few things you need to get in order. You must understand yourself & love yourself.
Wake up every morning & say to yourself "I love & approve of myself."
This is a start.

There are a few things you really need to evaluate about yourself.
What are your goals in life?
What motivates you?
What are you passionate about?
What drives you crazy?
What makes you happy?
What would you be doing if you could do anything?

Now that you know yourself a little better, you are better equipped to step out onto the field.
Keep an open mind though. If you keep your mind open to exploring new things, you will find more interests & have a greater chance of finding a guy who shares them.

Remember, you must first love your product~ you!
If you don't like the product, then why should anyone else?

email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Bad days

2009-12-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

we all have them....
as I write this, I have a doossyy
My head is still spinning actually.

I got up this morning, woke up the grouchy kid, got her out the door to take her to school to discover my tire was way low.
I drove her to school then went straight to the gas station & put air in the tire.
Then I went back home.
It's a cold & wet/rainy day. May snow tonight.
I had an appointment at 1pm about 30min from my home about my daughter's ADHD.
About 11am I went to the bank to cash a check & my tire was low again.
Well, by this time, I did not have enough time to get the tire checked out before I had to leave for my apt with my daughter's doctor so I went to Walmart & got some fix a flat.
The tire was losing air very quickly.
I put the fix a flat in & put more air in it & headed out of town.
When I got to my destination, I put more air in my tire & more fix a flat too, & got gas. Then I headed to the doctors office.
Well, the tire was extremely low when I got to the office.
I started thinking this is not good.
I tried to call my brother to see if he could come change my tire. Called my sister to have her try him & to see if there was anywhere in this town that would change it. I knew that I would be at the appointment for at least an hour.
Well, I was there over that amount of time. When I came out, the tire was flat. I knew there was a gas station right down the road, so I headed there. No air pressure hose, so I headed further down the road. They had a mechanic there & they told me I couldn't drive on the tire & they could not fix it either.
I told the guy, "I didn't ask you to fix it, I asked you to change it."
Yeah, by this point I was not in a good mood.

It was now 2:30pm & I had to pick up my daughter at 3pm from school & I was already 30 min away. The guy said it would be 20-30 min before he could do it. Ugh!
So I said, what choice do I have.
He took my keys & I got on my phone.
Called my mom who didn't answer.
Called my grandma who didn't answer.
Mom called back & I said can you pick Bailey up. She said no she was in Marion. I explained & she said she would go, but she was just as far away as I was.

Anyway, he finally fixed my car & I got on the road & got to pick up my kid because I am quicker than my mother. Guess that is the benefit of driving an Eclipse.

When I walked up to the school, I could see through the doors where Bailey was sitting on a bench. She looked so sad. As I approached, they opened the doors & she ran out into my arms & all my tension melted away. She didn't care that I was 20 minutes late. She was just happy that I showed up. I told her I was sorry, that I had a flat tire & had to get it fixed. I showed her my funny tire on my car & it was all good.
Then I took her to the milk store & let my ADHD child buy extra chocolate.
I know, bad mommy. Guilt.

Anyway, I am writing this to let you know that I am human too.
I have bad days, just like you. I have slip ups where I don't feel so positive & I don't want to think positively, but you have to rise above it & think ahead & beyond the negative in the present. It will get better.
You are in control of your situation.
It is what you make of it.
My daughter made me realize my situation was not all that bad today.
I hope this helps someone.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

so...I talk to myself, so what???

2009-11-28T19:43:00.000-08:00

Yup, I admit it. I talk to myself. Daily. More than once a day.

Does that make me crazy??

Affirmations are positive statements about how you want your life to be written in present tense.

Just positive statements that you say to yourself.
You need to say them at least once a day, preferably right directly after you wake in the morning.
What you are attempting to do is take the negative thoughts you already think over & over everyday & replace them with positive affirmations.
Negative attracts negative & positive attracts positive.
Simple, right?

Well, I started doing this not very long ago. It was suggested to me by Zoe at Katapult which I am sure you all know by now is my Life Coach & she trained me to be a life coach as well. She is just great & I think the world of her.

So I wrote a few affirmations down on a piece of paper & taped them to the bathroom mirror. My bathroom mirror is huge so I have room, you may not. I definitely recommend writing them down & hanging them in your bathroom though.
Think about it. How many times a day do you visit the bathroom? Exactly.

So I say my affirmations everytime I am in the bathroom, basically.
I read them out loud, say them in my head. Sometimes I repeat some of them.

Up to you how you do it, but I recommend saying them out loud at least once a day. First thing in the morning is best because it puts you in a positive state of mind.
Now my first affirmation list started with 3 or 4 affirmations. Then I read some money magnet affirmations & added a few of them to my list. About a week later, I received a check in the mail. Out of the blue, completely unexpected. I was extremely excited & a true believer!

So now you give it a try.
If you would like help coming up with some affirmation, feel free to message me.

Here are a few examples:
I am a money magnet
Life is eternal & filled with joy.
I let go of the past & use it only for its positive lessons.
I change the world around me by changing myself.
I am now open to receive.
I have unlimited abundance.

I have tons more where those came from.
Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Strive for Excellence....

2009-11-24T20:05:00.000-08:00

Excellence is memorable.
It's also time consuming & intentional.
You will not be excellent by accident.

Are you ready to put forth the effort it takes to be excellent?

1. Create an email autoresponder so that when someone joins your mailing list, they receive valuable gifts from you.

2. Hire an answering service so a live person answers your phone 24 hours a day.

3. Have anyone who answers your phone use a script so they know how to respond professionally.

4. Hire employees & independent contractors who have the same core value as you & who believe in your business.

5. Send birthday cards to your clients & employees & outsourced help.

6. Send handwritten notes to clients before they come into meet you.

7. Respond to emails within 24 hours. If you cannot do this yourself, hire a virtual assistant.

8. Send a congratulations gift to clients who complete a program that you offer & include a special offer or discount for another product or service.

There are many other tips that I can share with you.

email your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Abusive Personalities

2009-11-15T18:23:00.000-08:00

Do you know the signs of an abusive personality?
I do.

Sneak peak:
1. Quick involvement- only dates for 6 months or less before talking you into moving in.
2. Unrealistic Expectations- very dependent on you for everything.
3. Isolation- tries to cut you off from friends & family
4. Playful use of force during sex- likes throwing you down, holding your wrists, jumping on top of you, or holding you up against the wall to have sex
5. Verbal abuse- constantly criticizes you

There are 5 more.

email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

I have a passion

2009-11-15T18:14:00.000-08:00

Your passions stir your actions!

I've mentioned I have 2 Bachelor degrees, 1 in Social Work & 1 in Psychology.
I have always known that I am a "helper"
That is my goal in life, to help as many people as I can.

When I found Zoe & Katapult Enterprises, I just knew that I was meant to be a life coach & was meant to work with Zoe.
Life coaching is another way for me to help.

I interned at the Child Advocacy Center local to me so I have seen a lot of heartache. I know what is feels like to ache for others.

I am a single mom. It hasn't always been a pleasant ride for me. I built a support system & was able to make it.

Maybe I have walked in your shoes.........

email me, I can help.
your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

The Don'ts of Dating

2009-11-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

Don't Stalk
Don't look needy or desperate
Don't be overly aggressive or pushy
Don't make emotional decisions
Don't rearrange your schedule for a guy

Pretty straight forward, right?

Want to know WHY you should not do these things?
email your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

How to get your "Go For It" Attitude!

2009-11-09T15:32:00.000-08:00

So you want to change........
you want to better your life in one area or another.....
BUT you do not.
Why is that?
What is holding you back?

Everyone needs a little attitude adjustment from time to time.
Here's a few tips to get a "Go For It" attitude so you can make that change you want in your life.

1.Who needs permission?- There isn't any reason you cannot do what you want to do. You do not need anyone's permission so stop asking for it! You just need to believe in yourself.

2. Who needs an invitation?- In today's competitive world, you are responsible for creating your own opportunities. You cannot wait for an invitation in the mail. The opportunities may just pass you up if you are.

3. Build a support team- get rid of all the negative people in your life who are pulling you down & draining you emotionally. This pulls your strength & self-esteem down with them. You need a team of supporters. People who will stand on the sidelines & cheer for you!

This can work in any area of your life.
Weight loss goals
Starting your own business
Getting out there & dating again

Try it & see how it works out for you.
Don't forget to email me & tell me how it works for you!

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com
Don't forget about the $50 power hour! On the spot coaching just for you!

Are You Mompreneur Material?

2009-11-08T13:10:00.000-08:00

Mompreneurs have certain characteristics.
Do you have what it takes to go out on your own & start your own business while raising a family?

Mompreneurs have self-discipline.
Mompreneurs have the ability to shift gears often.
Mompreneurs have a knack for networking.
Mompreneurs have great organizational skills.
Mompreneurs are always professional.
Mompreneurs must possess a great sense of humor.

Why are these characteristics important?
Why must moms who want to start their own business possess all of these characteristics?

email me @ your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

You Are Not a Princess

2009-11-08T12:58:00.000-08:00

Okay Ladies, do I really have to go here?
No matter how much you expect to be treated like royalty, you are not a princess. Stop expecting unrealistic things if you ever want to get married.

Women with unrealistic expectations often never marry!
They are too busy knocking every guy down that tries to woo them.

Women who have unrealistic goals for themselves & their lives are not hanging onto a better life, but they are holding out for a dream.

If you work for or around rich & powerful men, you often find yourself thinking you must marry the same type of man. Really all you are doing is becoming your own worst enemy. What about all those guys who are still working their way to the top? Do you just shoot them all down without ever really getting to know them?

Take a deep breath & consider your options. Start dating men that you could possibly have a future with.

Also,do not allow your friends & family dictate who you date based on their unrealistic expectations. Just because your mom & dad do not think anyone is good enough for you, does not really mean that no one is good enough for you.

Yes, you should have standards.
However they should not be set in stone or you may pass up "the one."

Need help finding him? I can help.
email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Did you know.....

2009-11-07T06:16:00.000-08:00

that there is an age of committment for men. This is when they are more likely to get married.
If you are looking for marriage, it is imperative that you know these facts!

This age depends on the guy's level of education as well.
For example, guys who graduate high school but do not go on to college, will be ready to marry before the college guys are.

Men like to wait until they have entered the work force & have sowed their wild oats before even considering marriage. Women have it on the brain since childhood.

If you pressure him at the wrong time, he will run.
If you bring up marriage or your future together too soon, he will run.

It is important that you get all the facts before you jump into the dating world with the intent to marry.
I have the facts.
Email me @ your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Are you an emotional eater?

2009-11-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

Emotional eating is the practice of consuming large amounts of food~ usually junk food (comfort food)~ in response to your feelings instead of hunger.

Emotional eating is very common especially among women & teenage girls.
You are not alone & there is help.

First, you must ask yourself, Do you eat when you are not hungry?

Emotional eaters eat when they feel:
stressed
depressed
angry
bored
lonely
frustrated
anxious
etc.

Reaching for your favorite food can become an automatic response when you are less than happy. You must recognize this behavior & put an end to it.

Here are a few signs of emotional eating:
1. Hunger comes on suddenly & it feels urgent.
2. You crave specific foods, mostly junk food.
3. You don't realize you are eating or how much you have eaten.
4. You feel extreme guilt after eating & regret doing it.

There are more signs, but these are a good inclination that you are an emotional eater. There is help for you.
You just have to seek it out.
email me @ your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Hello Everyone

2009-11-07T05:12:00.000-08:00

I am a certified Life Coach.
The areas I specialize in are: Weight Loss, Dating, & Mompreneur.

I will be adding great info to this blog about these areas.
Please follow my blog so that you can stay updated.
I will be offering Weight loss group coaching in person & via teleclasses in the future.
I will also offer teleclasses for finding Dates & the relationship you have always wanted.
Stay Tuned!