It's ok to make the 1st move......really

so you see this guy......you think he's kinda hot. You'd really love to talk to him, but you've been taught that it's the guys job to make the first move.

Come on!

Get off your butt & do something about your single girl status!

Or it just won't change.

Are you in a bar? Motion the bartender...tell them you want to order him a drink. Yes, this is ok.

Guys are in the bar to meet girls. Why are you there??

Smile at him, catch his eye.

Better yet, get up, go over & say hello.

Not that brave. Make up an excuse to talk to him. Whatever it takes.

Sometimes a guy is just as shy and nervous as you. Remember that. They don't want to be rejected either. They need a sign that you are willing and interested to talk. Give it to him.

The trick to starting a conversation is using an icebreaker. A small remark or question that can be directed toward absolutely anyone. Something that seems spur of the moment, unintentional, & casual.

Make the meeting look almost accidental.

Ask the time, or say don't you go to my gym..... think of a list of ice breakers beforehand so you don't get nervous and forget how to speak.

You aren't asking him out. You are just being friendly and sociable.

Keep it casual and you will get the result you want.

Need some life help?

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Don't Drink & Date...

This should be obvious, but just isn't to some, so I will spell it out.

When you date, do not drink.

You think, O will just have 1.

Well, that 1 turns into 5 and next think you know.......

It's easy to lose count of how many drinks you've had when you are having a good time. And that is precisely when you don't want to lose count. I know and you know that you didn't plan on getting drunk. You just got caught up in the moment and the good time.

But next thing you know you're waking up the next morning in some guys bed whose never going to call you again.....end of story.

This is not what you want.

This is not what you are striving for.

You never want to drink on the first date!!

Drinking not only causes you to lose your inhibitions-as mentioned above- it can also make you do or say certain things that just are not appropriate on a first date.

Some girls think a couple of drinks to take the edge off is ok, but some just don't know their limit. So I say NO to any drinking on the first date. Politely decline.

Alcohol can give you a false sense of confidence.

Alcohol can also cause you to drunk dial. Something you don't want to do ever.

If you feel you cannot limit your drinks, date during the day.

the silent no.....

How can you tell when you are getting the silent no from a guy??

I can hear it now, Coach Amy, What is the Silent no???

Well, girls.....it's when a guy decides he doesn't really want to see you any more and he is too coward to come right out and say it so he beats around the bush instead.

For example, he may stop calling so much hoping you will get the hint or he may start getting busier and seeing you less so he doesn't have to spell it out to you.

BUT a lot of girls do not pick up on what is going on and they do the opposite.

If he stops calling, they start calling.

If he stops coming to their place, they start going to his.

These girls make it impossible for him to break it off.

Another sign of the silent no is he still sleeps over, but there's no sex.

So in this scenario, you must listen to a man's actions instead of his words. Watch the signs once again.

Now you are asking why would he keep you around if he doesn't have strong feelings for you??

1. He's a coward~It's easier to continue than to tell you it's over. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

2. He's bored~ He likes you but not enough to be exclusive. If someone he really likes comes along, he will hang out with you because you keep him busy on his lonely nights.

3. He's insecure~ you validate that he is good-looking & worthy. He would rather have someone than be alone.

4. He's using you~ he calls when he needs something & it's on his terms.

Common Excuses:

I'm not sure I can handle my job & being in a relationship right now.

My ex really scarred me & I'm scared to get close to anyone.

When a guy says this we think we can help solve his problems, but counseling him and trying to change his mind will not do any good. These are not the real reasons he doesn't want to see you.

Don't make him spell it out. Be smarter than that. Don't make it harder on yourself than it has to be. Read the signs. Turn and walk away with your head held high.

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a sense of urgency

The object is to create a sense of urgency in him. Make him think time is running out.

Your time is valuable & you need to be the first person to treat it that way!

When you first start dating someone, you should give him 2 choices of when he can see you and one of them should be a week night.

Your ultimate goal is to have him asking when you are available not the other way around.

If he is still repeatedly telling you when he is available, you are NOT creating enough urgency.

He must feel as if the pressure is not coming from your need to get married. Do not harrass him.

Do not say when are we going to get married.

Make a timetable~ ask yourself how long are you willing to date someone before deciding he's the one.

How long do you need to be certain?

How long will you date someone before making it official?

If you don't create urgency in yourself first & foremost, you will not ever be able to create any urgency with him.

You don't want to waste 10 years with a man who is never going to marry you. ~ It is easy to just let time slip away.

If you have found the right guy & you want to marry him, you need to decide how long you are willing to wait for him to propose. ~~ Doesn't matter what the length of time is as long as you set it & it's on your terms.

If you decide 4 years is long enough & that deadline has past, then you have to go.

Time to move on.

Stick to your guns.

Do not Share your timetable with him.

Like what I have to say......

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You want what others have.......true or false?

By name it's called the Jones Effect. It means you want what other people have. We as people believe if someone else likes what we like, it validates it as good.

Most women do not want the guy they like to think they are into someone else because then he may get discouraged and give up. WRONG!!!!!

Bring it on Sister!

This is a huge misconception.

Guys are competitive by nature.

All he sees is someone else wanting you. That is a good thing. Other men should want you.

Seeing you talk to other men will not scare him off. It should only fuel the fire.

When you first start dating someone, you want it to be pretty obvious that other men find you attractive. Talk and be friendly with the men around you. Don't go overboard though.

It's fine for him to think you are out with other guys. Don't explain where you are or who you are with. He isn't your daddy. You want him to question if you have another date.

Don't hide the fact that you have guy friends.

You don't have to ignore guys at a party.

Don't be obvious, but don't hide it either.

Fuel the flame, girl. See where it gets you......

Like my style? Need some dating help? Need some life in general help?

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I'm here for you

There's no such thing as mixed messages

You just have to know how to read them.......

A man's feelings are not black & white.

~he asks for your number but doesn't call....

~he calls but not regularly.....

~all over you one night but not the next.....

?????

These are all clear signs of of moderate to low interest. If you are my client, I would tell you to drop this dude fast! Most gals would continue to blow up the guy's phone though. Not the right path to take......

Being persistent will not make him like you more if he's displaying these signs. It will do the opposite. Better to cut your losses now.

Here are some signs of interest:

~the look-when a guy is interested, you will catch his eye. He will stop & look.

~Questions-when he's interested, he wants to know things about you. He will ask.

~Change in attitude & mannerisms- there may be a sudden change in his tone of voice, attitude or posture, he may become friendlier or chattier.

Bottom line~~When a guy is interested he basically tells you before you can ask if you open your eyes & pay attention. Learn to read the signs.

There are no such things as mixed messages. The signs are very clear as long as you know what you are looking at.

Need some help....I'm here for you... your_girl_amy@gmail.com

Filling your funnel.......

funny saying, huh?

Well, it actually means never let the dating pool dry up.

Date many guys at once until you find the one you want to settle down with.

This works for 3 reasons:

1. you don't get attached too soon~ you aren't sitting at home thinking about Mr. 1 and only. You will drive yourself crazy by obsessing about a man. When you see him again, he will know you've been sitting around waiting too.

2. You won't be a complete wreck if things don't work out~ your confidence won't be shattered if one relationship doesn't work out because you have others.

3. Your odds are better~ the more men you date, the more likely you are to find the one.

Attracting Attention.......

and now you say Coach Amy, I'm with a flock of other girls, how are the guys going to notice me?

This is true. Girls go out with other girls. A gaggle of them. Anywhere from 5 to 10.

The goal is to look different. You must make yourself stick out from the pack.

I know that this scares some girls to death. They want no more than to blend in.

But if you spend you life blending, you Mr. Right may never notice you.

Men love it when you give them a reason to come talk to you. A great reason to talk is something about your outfit. So make yourself stand out with your clothes for starters.

You need a couple of staple outfits that are sure to get you noticed.

If you know that certain items in your wardrobe drum up a lot of attention, then wear them often.

Now, I don't mean party girl clothes because as I often say if you look like a party girl, that is how you will be treated. We dress for the role we want.

Try some new styles that are a little unusual & see what kind of reaction you get.

Women are constantly copying each other & want to look like celebrities. They follow trends and replicate images they see.

This is a big no no in the dating world. You want to stand out from the pack. You want the guys to notice you instead of the other 10 girls you are with.

You do not want to blend in & if you are all dressed like the celeb you saw in the magazine, you are going to look alike.

In order to stand out, you do not have to be more attractive than everyone else.

Don't shy away from something that makes you different. Embrace it!

Remember, fitting in & looking like everyone else is boring.

And who wants boring day in & day out?

Like what I have to say?

Like my style?

Need some dating advice or just some life coaching?

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How do I prospect???

If you are serious about meeting guys, then you will dedicate time to find/meet new guys. Modify your agenda to allow time to prospect.

Where are the guys you ask?

happy hours

work functions

sports bars

restaurant openings

pool halls

coffee shops

Basically just try new places.

The smart way to prospect is to go where the most opportunity is. Ask yourself, if I were a guy where would I be?

Change up your daily routine~ go to a different grocery store, switch gyms, try a different church.

It's really about putting yourself in different places at different times.

I must also say, yes, meeting guys at clubs & bars is totally possible. It's the exact reason they are there.

Most importantly, you must remember you can meet a guy anywhere!

Put more effort into your appearance. You just never know when you will meet the one.

Like my style?

Need some dating advice?

How about 1 month for $200~ That's 4, 45 min sessions for $200!

Limited time only!

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Meeting the Family

Ever wanted a handwritten guide to go by when you were meeting your boyfriend's family for the first time?

Well, here's one.

No matter where the first meeting with your man's family takes place, dress as if you are going to church.

Be polite. (duh, right)

Be correct

Insist he introduce you to everyone & stay with you for the first 5 minutes of any conversation.

Do more listening than talking~ you don't want them to think you are full of yourself right off the bat.

Limit yourself to 1 or 2 drinks no matter how much anyone else is drinking.

Arrive on time & leave early.

Simple to follow. I am direct & to the point.

Like my style? Want to hire me?

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Changes

So there are going to be some changes going on around here.

From now on my blog will be focusing on dating.

Only.

I will be the Girl Power Dating Coach now.

I have been working with a mentor & she has helped pull some info out of me.

I want to empower girls to become confident, sassy, & strong women!

So be on the lookout for lots of great dating advice.

I plan on leading teleseminars.

I am going to have packages for coaching.

All kinds of great stuff to come so keep your eyes open.....