Winter Solstice

Well, ladies & gentleman.

Today is the Winter Solstice.

I was instructed back in the summer that a solstice is the perfect day to take out paper & pen & write down exactly what you want for your future!

So I am now instructing you do the same.

Get paper & a pen.

Sit down & really think it through.

What do you want from life?

Do you want a better relationship?

Do you want a better job?

Do you want more money?

Write it down!!

Concentrate on it. Focus, focus, focus!

If you believe in what you want & that just by simply putting it out there, it will happen....guess what! It will!!

That's right.

What you want will happen if your thoughts & beliefs are in alignment.

No negative thinking. Absolutely not allowed.

It will happen, it will.

Just because.

Don't forget about my free coaching offer. Will end soon.

This is the perfect time to hire your own personal life coach!

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

what do I say??

Last week my world was turned upside down by the very thing I am constantly talking to you about.

Yes, I am talking about a guy.

I was happy and it was suddenly and shockingly ripped from me.

And I did things that I tell other females not to.

I acted rashly.

I didn't allow myself to back away from the situation and look at the big picture.

I was not going to die, but I sure felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest.

I allowed this guy into my life. Allowed myself to care for him. Allowed him into my heart. Allowed myself to feel for him.....then he bailed on me.

Typical story, right?

All I could think was why did I do this to myself...

I wasn't given reasons or explanations. I was confused and hurt.

Well, I'm here to say it's been a week & I've bounced back.

I want to be honest with the people who read my blog & the people who follow me, the people who care about what I have to say.

I have been through this stuff too.

I know what it feels like and it doesn't feel good.

Now I know that I will go on. I still want him. But I have plans for my future. I still care about him that hasn't changed.

However, now is time for me. I must take this time to focus on me and my future. My business & what I plan for my future.

I am strong. I shall survive.

Raise your standards & Believe in yourself!

Be honest.....Are you completely confident and secure in your own shoes?

Do you believe in your own abilities?

.....or are you constantly questioning who you are as a person?

We all have our past, the experiences that shape who we are today. BUT those experiences do not have to shape your future.

If you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else to believe in you?

It is important to think highly enough of yourself and your capabilities in order to portray a positive image to others. Otherwise you will just reek of negativity and people will not want to be around you because you will bring them down with you.

Each and every one of us is born with special gifts and distinctive traits. The key is knowing what yours are.

See yourself as others see you. Embrace all that you offer & everything you contribute to those around you.

Try this exercise to lift your spirits & open your eyes about yourself.:

Take out a piece of paper. Review your life and list all of your achievements. You can write down anything and everything you view as an achievement. The event doesn't have to be a huge one to be viewed as an achievement in your eyes. List as many as you can. If you get stumped, ask loved ones & friends to help out.

Once finished, step back & take a long look at your list. Then pat yourself on the back.

You did all that! Yes, you!

In order to raise your standards & believe in yourself, you need to embrace self confidence.

Everytime you talk negatively about yourself or others, it lowers your standards so just stop it.

Don't be the one to gossip or talk down to others; take the high road with class & respect.

When we talk negatively, it exudes a negative energy toward people. You can literally feel the negative energy when you meet someone like this.

Stand tall & radiate self-confidence & positive vibes.

Need some life help?

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Shush that Negative Voice in your Head

Going through a typical day, what does the predominant voice in your head sound like?

~ Do you hear mostly encouraging positive words like "good job" or "you can do that"?

~or are they self-defeating & negative such as "I can't believe you did that" & "you aren't smart enough"?

Sometimes we hear these words so often that we become immune to their impact on our daily lives & well-being.

It is truly amazing how profoundly these words can affect all of the decisions we make in our life.

The 1st step to become aware of the dialogue that goes on inside your head & then you can choose to replace the negative words with more constructive words.

How would it feel if you were your own biggest cheerleader? Wouldn't it feel empowering to rely on yourself to lift your spirits?

You are simply breaking down the core of who you are when you are constantly putting yourself down.

There are many things in life that you have absolutely no control over. The voice in your head however is completely under your control. You can pick & choose the words that fly around on a daily basis.

It all starts with your mind & your thoughts, & then naturally other areas of your life are able to shift positively as well.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Cleaning up your relationships....

As I'm sure you have noticed, I am a big believer in making room for the new.

You may think that is a crude way to put this, but it's simply the truth.

In order to make room for the awesome new people who are destined to cross paths with you, you must make room for them.

And this means, you must clear out some of the old relationships that are not benefiting you anymore.

Ask yourself this:

How does it feel to be surrounded by people who make you feel good about yourself?

These people celebrate the person you are & support you to the best you can be.

How does it feel to be around people who drain your energy?

These individuals focus on the negatives & provide very little encouragement or joy to the relationship.

Obviously when I am talking about clearing out relationships, I'm talking about the latter.

We all know these people. Just cut ties. You do not need this constant drain.

You have many choices in your life, but choosing who to surround yourself with is essential to your physical & emotional well-being.

Now is the time for you to re-evaluate the relationships in your life & determine a course of action. Give yourself permission to spring clean the people in your life. You have the choice & ability to surround yourself with individuals who genuinely contribute to your growth & happiness.

People grow in different directions & sometimes choose to take seperate paths.

It is no ones fault.

Sometimes you may feel that a relationship is worth salvaging & that you're not quite ready to let it go. If this is the case, then it's important that you set some clear boundaries & let the other person know what changes need to be made.

If you do not communicate, nothing will change.

The people you choose to surround yourself with are a true reflection of who you are & what you value in life.

Life is far too short to spend time & energy on things that do not have much value.

If someone is holding you back form being the amazing being that you are, it's ok to stand tall & move on.

Do you need some life help?

Like my style?

email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Excuses.....

Does this sound like you?

~you have great desires, but the motivation or drive just isn't there.

~sometimes you are just clearly unmotivated to do anything.

If this is every now & then it would not be a big deal.

It's easy to come up with excuses to put off your dreams, goals, & aspirations. Otherwise there would be no need for personal trainers, therapists, self help gurus or even life coaches like me in the world.

But....where have these excuses gotten you? The exact same place you are today & the same place you will be tomorrow unless you do something about them. NOW

Why not commit to taking action today, not tomorrow, even if it's a very small step.

Stop waiting for your life to change for you, you need to change for your life.

Sometimes it helps to look at what you can accomplish every day, instead of looking at the large picture. Looking at a goal in its entirety is sometimes so overwhelming that it stops you in your tracks.

Anything is possible if you just break a goal down into bite size chunks. Do not set yourself up to fail by creating unrealistic expectations.

If a goal is important enough to you, you will find the means to make it happen.

Going for it is about taking one step after another, not worrying about the destination, just surviving the journey. Just go at your own pace, because it's your journey, no one else's.

Contact me if you think you may need some life help.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

It's ok to make the 1st move......really

so you see this guy......you think he's kinda hot. You'd really love to talk to him, but you've been taught that it's the guys job to make the first move.

Come on!

Get off your butt & do something about your single girl status!

Or it just won't change.

Are you in a bar? Motion the bartender...tell them you want to order him a drink. Yes, this is ok.

Guys are in the bar to meet girls. Why are you there??

Smile at him, catch his eye.

Better yet, get up, go over & say hello.

Not that brave. Make up an excuse to talk to him. Whatever it takes.

Sometimes a guy is just as shy and nervous as you. Remember that. They don't want to be rejected either. They need a sign that you are willing and interested to talk. Give it to him.

The trick to starting a conversation is using an icebreaker. A small remark or question that can be directed toward absolutely anyone. Something that seems spur of the moment, unintentional, & casual.

Make the meeting look almost accidental.

Ask the time, or say don't you go to my gym..... think of a list of ice breakers beforehand so you don't get nervous and forget how to speak.

You aren't asking him out. You are just being friendly and sociable.

Keep it casual and you will get the result you want.

Need some life help?

Like my style?

msg me

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

the silent no.....

How can you tell when you are getting the silent no from a guy??

I can hear it now, Coach Amy, What is the Silent no???

Well, girls.....it's when a guy decides he doesn't really want to see you any more and he is too coward to come right out and say it so he beats around the bush instead.

For example, he may stop calling so much hoping you will get the hint or he may start getting busier and seeing you less so he doesn't have to spell it out to you.

BUT a lot of girls do not pick up on what is going on and they do the opposite.

If he stops calling, they start calling.

If he stops coming to their place, they start going to his.

These girls make it impossible for him to break it off.

Another sign of the silent no is he still sleeps over, but there's no sex.

So in this scenario, you must listen to a man's actions instead of his words. Watch the signs once again.

Now you are asking why would he keep you around if he doesn't have strong feelings for you??

1. He's a coward~It's easier to continue than to tell you it's over. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

2. He's bored~ He likes you but not enough to be exclusive. If someone he really likes comes along, he will hang out with you because you keep him busy on his lonely nights.

3. He's insecure~ you validate that he is good-looking & worthy. He would rather have someone than be alone.

4. He's using you~ he calls when he needs something & it's on his terms.

Common Excuses:

I'm not sure I can handle my job & being in a relationship right now.

My ex really scarred me & I'm scared to get close to anyone.

When a guy says this we think we can help solve his problems, but counseling him and trying to change his mind will not do any good. These are not the real reasons he doesn't want to see you.

Don't make him spell it out. Be smarter than that. Don't make it harder on yourself than it has to be. Read the signs. Turn and walk away with your head held high.

Like my style??

need some help?

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Filling your funnel.......

funny saying, huh?

Well, it actually means never let the dating pool dry up.

Date many guys at once until you find the one you want to settle down with.

This works for 3 reasons:

1. you don't get attached too soon~ you aren't sitting at home thinking about Mr. 1 and only. You will drive yourself crazy by obsessing about a man. When you see him again, he will know you've been sitting around waiting too.

2. You won't be a complete wreck if things don't work out~ your confidence won't be shattered if one relationship doesn't work out because you have others.

3. Your odds are better~ the more men you date, the more likely you are to find the one.

How do I prospect???

If you are serious about meeting guys, then you will dedicate time to find/meet new guys. Modify your agenda to allow time to prospect.

Where are the guys you ask?

happy hours

work functions

sports bars

restaurant openings

pool halls

coffee shops

Basically just try new places.

The smart way to prospect is to go where the most opportunity is. Ask yourself, if I were a guy where would I be?

Change up your daily routine~ go to a different grocery store, switch gyms, try a different church.

It's really about putting yourself in different places at different times.

I must also say, yes, meeting guys at clubs & bars is totally possible. It's the exact reason they are there.

Most importantly, you must remember you can meet a guy anywhere!

Put more effort into your appearance. You just never know when you will meet the one.

Like my style?

Need some dating advice?

How about 1 month for $200~ That's 4, 45 min sessions for $200!

Limited time only!

Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Meeting the Family

Ever wanted a handwritten guide to go by when you were meeting your boyfriend's family for the first time?

Well, here's one.

No matter where the first meeting with your man's family takes place, dress as if you are going to church.

Be polite. (duh, right)

Be correct

Insist he introduce you to everyone & stay with you for the first 5 minutes of any conversation.

Do more listening than talking~ you don't want them to think you are full of yourself right off the bat.

Limit yourself to 1 or 2 drinks no matter how much anyone else is drinking.

Arrive on time & leave early.

Simple to follow. I am direct & to the point.

Like my style? Want to hire me?

Email me, your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Changes

So there are going to be some changes going on around here.

From now on my blog will be focusing on dating.

Only.

I will be the Girl Power Dating Coach now.

I have been working with a mentor & she has helped pull some info out of me.

I want to empower girls to become confident, sassy, & strong women!

So be on the lookout for lots of great dating advice.

I plan on leading teleseminars.

I am going to have packages for coaching.

All kinds of great stuff to come so keep your eyes open.....

Tips for a Good 1st Date.....

1. Think Positively~ think about your wonderful attributes & not your faults. Take inventory of your skills, values, talents, interests, & heart. Leave all negative thoughts at home. You are absolutely wonderful & he's a fool if he doesn't realize it.

2. Keep Expectations in Check~ Do not start imagining yourself at the alter with your date. Do not jump the gun.

3. Dress Appropriately~ Be presentable, neat, well-groomed & in casual dress clothes. Strive to look like the girl next door & someone who would be proper to bring home to mom.

4. Pick a Quiet Place to Talk~ coffee shop or bookstores are good. Do not get involved in a meal because then paying may become an issue. No movies.

5. 1-2 hours tops~ the purpose is to get a feel for the person. Do not drag the date on. Leave something to the imagination.

There are 10 tips in all.......
email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

when someone disapoints you

We all face disappointment everyday in some way, shape, or form.
You cannot dwell upon it.
You must look at all the positive & good in your life & concentrate on that to get you through the feelings you feel when disappointed.

I tell myself, take a deep breath & shake it off.
I sometimes actually say it out loud!
Then I shake my hands as if I were actually shaking something off of myself.

It may sound pretty funny, but it works. I repeat this until I feel better.

Another way to cope with day to day disappointment & other feelings, is to journal.
I try to write in my own journal every night before going to bed.
I recommend writing before bedtime because it helps to free your mind of all those thoughts so that you can sleep better.

Remember, what you think about, you bring about.
If you are dwelling upon your feelings of disappointment, you will attract more disappointment me to yourself.
Like attracts like.

Positive thoughts are the way to go.
Think about anything positive when you feel your thoughts drifting. Say your affirmations. Either out loud or to yourself. Doesn't matter. The universe & the Higher Good still hears you when you think them.

How can you boost your metabolism?

1. Eat more~ often that is. The iconic 3 hearty meals (breakfast, lunch, supper) is very unhealthy for your body. The calories taken in during larger meals are stored as fat, while smaller meals throughout the day give you a boost of energy which you can slowly burn off.

2. Maintain a healthy diet~ what you eat is equally important. You need to eat an appropriate balanced diet full of protein & carbs. Eating whole foods instead of processed foods helps your body burn calories.

3. Lift weights~ mass will slowly replace stored fat. As you build muscle mass, your metabolism will begin to increase.

4. Pickup your cardio~ increases heart rate & allows you to breathe heavier. 20-30 min during weekdays should do the trick. You don't need to run a marathon. Just exercise in moderation. Start slow & build it up.


Need some extra help losing that weight?
Need some motivation or just someone in your corner cheering you on?
Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

Bad days

we all have them....
as I write this, I have a doossyy
My head is still spinning actually.

I got up this morning, woke up the grouchy kid, got her out the door to take her to school to discover my tire was way low.
I drove her to school then went straight to the gas station & put air in the tire.
Then I went back home.
It's a cold & wet/rainy day. May snow tonight.
I had an appointment at 1pm about 30min from my home about my daughter's ADHD.
About 11am I went to the bank to cash a check & my tire was low again.
Well, by this time, I did not have enough time to get the tire checked out before I had to leave for my apt with my daughter's doctor so I went to Walmart & got some fix a flat.
The tire was losing air very quickly.
I put the fix a flat in & put more air in it & headed out of town.
When I got to my destination, I put more air in my tire & more fix a flat too, & got gas. Then I headed to the doctors office.
Well, the tire was extremely low when I got to the office.
I started thinking this is not good.
I tried to call my brother to see if he could come change my tire. Called my sister to have her try him & to see if there was anywhere in this town that would change it. I knew that I would be at the appointment for at least an hour.
Well, I was there over that amount of time. When I came out, the tire was flat. I knew there was a gas station right down the road, so I headed there. No air pressure hose, so I headed further down the road. They had a mechanic there & they told me I couldn't drive on the tire & they could not fix it either.
I told the guy, "I didn't ask you to fix it, I asked you to change it."
Yeah, by this point I was not in a good mood.

It was now 2:30pm & I had to pick up my daughter at 3pm from school & I was already 30 min away. The guy said it would be 20-30 min before he could do it. Ugh!
So I said, what choice do I have.
He took my keys & I got on my phone.
Called my mom who didn't answer.
Called my grandma who didn't answer.
Mom called back & I said can you pick Bailey up. She said no she was in Marion. I explained & she said she would go, but she was just as far away as I was.

Anyway, he finally fixed my car & I got on the road & got to pick up my kid because I am quicker than my mother. Guess that is the benefit of driving an Eclipse.

When I walked up to the school, I could see through the doors where Bailey was sitting on a bench. She looked so sad. As I approached, they opened the doors & she ran out into my arms & all my tension melted away. She didn't care that I was 20 minutes late. She was just happy that I showed up. I told her I was sorry, that I had a flat tire & had to get it fixed. I showed her my funny tire on my car & it was all good.
Then I took her to the milk store & let my ADHD child buy extra chocolate.
I know, bad mommy. Guilt.

Anyway, I am writing this to let you know that I am human too.
I have bad days, just like you. I have slip ups where I don't feel so positive & I don't want to think positively, but you have to rise above it & think ahead & beyond the negative in the present. It will get better.
You are in control of your situation.
It is what you make of it.
My daughter made me realize my situation was not all that bad today.
I hope this helps someone.

your_girl_amy@yahoo.com

I have a passion

Your passions stir your actions!

I've mentioned I have 2 Bachelor degrees, 1 in Social Work & 1 in Psychology.
I have always known that I am a "helper"
That is my goal in life, to help as many people as I can.

When I found Zoe & Katapult Enterprises, I just knew that I was meant to be a life coach & was meant to work with Zoe.
Life coaching is another way for me to help.

I interned at the Child Advocacy Center local to me so I have seen a lot of heartache. I know what is feels like to ache for others.

I am a single mom. It hasn't always been a pleasant ride for me. I built a support system & was able to make it.

Maybe I have walked in your shoes.........

email me, I can help.
your_girl_amy@yahoo.com