Monday, August 30, 2010

Characteristics of an Internet Child Predator

Monday, August 30, 2010
I am going to list some characteristics of a child predator, but it's important to remember that they do not all meet these characteristics. There are always those predators who are outside the box that experts have identified.

-The average child predator is male & over the age of 25.
-he could be considered the guy down the street who kept to himself.
-the loner type, very few friends, & typically not married.
-most often has limited social skills, but a propensity to engage in conversation with an adolescent or child.
-tends to become shy with adults of his own age.
-seeks out jobs that allow him to work around children.

Child predators come from all walks of life, some are rich, some are poor, some are educated and some are not.
They usually have a sexually abusive or violent background.

Child predators usually see nothing wrong with their behavior.
They will target numerous children at a time.
They will take their time to groom their victims & their words are very thought out.
Once trust is built, blackmail & guilt are often used to get the child to succumb to their demands.

As a parent, you need to create open dialogue with your child & set clear rules regarding the computer & internet usage.
Watch what they are doing online, but do it openly.
Set trust between you and your child.
Be honest & tell them what can happen.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to contact me.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

What do you think online seduction leads to??

Thursday, August 26, 2010
If the predator has his way, it leads to rape & torture.

The online predator spends all this time grooming the intended victim...then they talk them into meeting them face to face.
at a hotel room....
or sometimes even right outside the child's house.

This does could happen to your child. Be smart, get educated.

I hate to be the one to point out the cold hard facts, but someone has to. Not everyone can remain silent.

On the average, 1 woman is being raped somewhere in the United States every minute of the day.
1 out of every 4 women born in this country will be raped at some point in her life.
According to FBI statistics, in the US alone, more than 100,000 women report being raped each year & an additional 400,000 to 900,000 women are raped but do not report the crime.

Most rapes go unreported & fewer than 10% of reported rapists go to jail.
Most rapists are still out walking the streets, free to rape again.

Now I do not say these things to scare you.
It's important to know what you are up against. It's important to know the facts.
It's important to be educated.

Rape occurs anytime a person is forced or coerced, physically or through verbal threats, into any type of sexual contact with another person, whether the assailant is a friend, an acquaintance, an employer or fellow employee, a husband or a stranger.

Each of us probably knows at least 1 other person who has been raped.

If you have been raped, you are not alone. There is help.

No matter what you could have done differently, the rapist- NOT you- is to blame for the assault.
Whatever you are thinking in your head that you did or that other people have told you you should have done differently, you did NOT deserve to be raped!

Sure you were probably doing things you usually do & you got hurt this time, but that doesn't mean you should have known better or done things differently.

There is help for you.
If you feel this is something I can help you through, please email me.
You do not have to go through this alone.


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What children are at risk?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Some young people are particularly vulnerable to online predators.

May display some of the following traits:
~new online & unfamiliar with netiquette. But even the most web savvy teens can be seduced by predators who are good at what they do.

~Actively seeking attention or affection




~Confused regarding sexual identity

~Easily tricked by adults

~Allured by subcultures outside of parents' world.

Here are some characteristics of typical victims:

-most but not all victims are between the age of 12 & 15
-Most victims have an instant message account but haven't set up privacy or security settings & willingly engage in conversations with strangers.
-live in suburban or rural towns
-are very sheltered & naive
-tend to be loners with few offline friends.
-tend to spend more than 90 minutes online after homework per day
-are secretive about their internet activities
-tend to have few activities outside of the internet.

Just because your child matches one or more of these characteristics does not mean they are being targeted by predators. However, your child is not perfectly safe if they match none of these characteristics.

Be an involved parent. Ask your child questions. Explain why you want to know this info.
Open & honest.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me for a FREE consultation.


Sunday, August 22, 2010

Online grooming~~ How a predator picks their victims

Sunday, August 22, 2010
An online predator goes online & searches until he sees a potential victim who fits his age, gender, & other preferences. These will vary from predator to predator.
The predator begins to gather info about the potential victim.
This is how he/she bonds with the victim. They find out what they like & dislike, what kind of home life they have.

Predator will look at the child's demeanor, personality, dress, & financial status.
They are looking for the child's interests & vulnerabilities at the same time.

Now this process doesn't occur over night. It usually goes on for months.
Predators prefer children of a single mom. Think about it...the mom usually has to work which means the child is home alone if old enough. They have more time to play around online without interruption.

Predators are skilled at knowing the emotional & physical needs of children.
And they prey on these needs.

As I've stated before, teens are vulnerable emotionally. A predator talks to them like a friend. Consoling them, agreeing with them. Makes the child identify with the predator & creates the bond.
The predator begins to talk to them more & more. Emailing. Possibly texting.
They sometimes wait a bit before introducing sexual stuff in the conversation.
But there are always those who jump right in.

Sometimes even if the child doesn't feel comfortable with this type of talk, they go along with it because they do not want to lose this new friendship with this person who supposedly completely understands them.

If your child doesn't have a webcam, the predator may purchase one for them & mail it over. Be on the lookout for this. Prohibit webcams.
Stress to your child that once you email, post, or text a photo of yourself, it's out there & you can never get it back.
Kids do not always get that. They think that whoever they are sending that picture to would never share it. Well, these predators will! It will show up online somewhere you do not want it & may never know it's there most likely.

The predator may start sending gifts too. Be on the lookout for this as well.
Could mean your child has already started sending pics, but could just be a way for the predator to better bond with your child.
They are weaseling their way in by buying your child.

This is the beginning of the process and if you keep your eyes open, you can see it happening.

Have any questions? feel free to contact me


Saturday, August 21, 2010 you know what it is?

Saturday, August 21, 2010
Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager?
You feel lonely..lost. Everyone is against you.

Today it's even more difficult to suffer through the teenage years with the internet.
There's online bullying for starters. But that's a whole other post.

Grooming is the process predators use to bond with their victim.
It's how they develop a close relationship with the child.
It can be compared to seduction.

Online predators gradually seduce their potential victims through the use of attention, affection, kindness, & gifts. They are willing to devote considerable amounts of time, money, & energy to this process.
The predators will be aware of the latest music & hobbies likely to interest kids & will listen to & sympathize with kids' problems.
They also try to lower young people's inhibitions by gradually introducing sexual content into their conversations.

Because victims have been carefully seduced, they often do not realize that they are victims.

If teens & their parents keep their eyes open, this process can be picked up on & interrupted.

The most important thing parents can do is keep an open & honest relationship with their children. Tell them about the warnings & signs I have posted. Talk to them often.

If you have any questions at all, please do not hesitate to contact me for a free consultation.


Monday, August 16, 2010

Tips for parents about online safety

Monday, August 16, 2010
~Talk to your child. Be open and honest. Find examples of cyber seduction and show them to your child. Educate them.

~Set clear rules regarding the computer & internet usage. Be prepared to back up your rules.

~Understand what your child is doing online. Have them show you where they go & their social networking profiles.

~Monitor their online accounts & email. Also their cell phones. Do this out in the open. Let them know why you are doing it too.

~Instruct your child not to post their address or phone number publicly.

~Keep the computer in a common area of the house instead of the bedroom.

~Instruct your child not to add strangers as friends on social networking sites.

~Prohibit web-cams

~Teach your child the responsible use of the resources online.

~Understand, even if your child was a willing participant in any form of sexual exploitation, that he/she is not at fault & is the victim.