Thursday, March 18, 2010

Don't Drink & Date...

Thursday, March 18, 2010
This should be obvious, but just isn't to some, so I will spell it out.
When you date, do not drink.
You think, O will just have 1.
Well, that 1 turns into 5 and next think you know.......

It's easy to lose count of how many drinks you've had when you are having a good time. And that is precisely when you don't want to lose count. I know and you know that you didn't plan on getting drunk. You just got caught up in the moment and the good time.
But next thing you know you're waking up the next morning in some guys bed whose never going to call you again.....end of story.
This is not what you want.
This is not what you are striving for.

You never want to drink on the first date!!
Drinking not only causes you to lose your inhibitions-as mentioned above- it can also make you do or say certain things that just are not appropriate on a first date.
Some girls think a couple of drinks to take the edge off is ok, but some just don't know their limit. So I say NO to any drinking on the first date. Politely decline.
Alcohol can give you a false sense of confidence.

Alcohol can also cause you to drunk dial. Something you don't want to do ever.

If you feel you cannot limit your drinks, date during the day.


Friday, March 12, 2010

the silent no.....

Friday, March 12, 2010
How can you tell when you are getting the silent no from a guy??
I can hear it now, Coach Amy, What is the Silent no???
Well,'s when a guy decides he doesn't really want to see you any more and he is too coward to come right out and say it so he beats around the bush instead.

For example, he may stop calling so much hoping you will get the hint or he may start getting busier and seeing you less so he doesn't have to spell it out to you.

BUT a lot of girls do not pick up on what is going on and they do the opposite.
If he stops calling, they start calling.
If he stops coming to their place, they start going to his.
These girls make it impossible for him to break it off.

Another sign of the silent no is he still sleeps over, but there's no sex.

So in this scenario, you must listen to a man's actions instead of his words. Watch the signs once again.

Now you are asking why would he keep you around if he doesn't have strong feelings for you??
1. He's a coward~It's easier to continue than to tell you it's over. He doesn't want to hurt your feelings.
2. He's bored~ He likes you but not enough to be exclusive. If someone he really likes comes along, he will hang out with you because you keep him busy on his lonely nights.
3. He's insecure~ you validate that he is good-looking & worthy. He would rather have someone than be alone.
4. He's using you~ he calls when he needs something & it's on his terms.

Common Excuses:
I'm not sure I can handle my job & being in a relationship right now.
My ex really scarred me & I'm scared to get close to anyone.

When a guy says this we think we can help solve his problems, but counseling him and trying to change his mind will not do any good. These are not the real reasons he doesn't want to see you.
Don't make him spell it out. Be smarter than that. Don't make it harder on yourself than it has to be. Read the signs. Turn and walk away with your head held high.

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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

a sense of urgency

Wednesday, March 10, 2010
The object is to create a sense of urgency in him. Make him think time is running out.
Your time is valuable & you need to be the first person to treat it that way!

When you first start dating someone, you should give him 2 choices of when he can see you and one of them should be a week night.
Your ultimate goal is to have him asking when you are available not the other way around.
If he is still repeatedly telling you when he is available, you are NOT creating enough urgency.

He must feel as if the pressure is not coming from your need to get married. Do not harrass him.
Do not say when are we going to get married.

Make a timetable~ ask yourself how long are you willing to date someone before deciding he's the one.
How long do you need to be certain?
How long will you date someone before making it official?

If you don't create urgency in yourself first & foremost, you will not ever be able to create any urgency with him.

You don't want to waste 10 years with a man who is never going to marry you. ~ It is easy to just let time slip away.

If you have found the right guy & you want to marry him, you need to decide how long you are willing to wait for him to propose. ~~ Doesn't matter what the length of time is as long as you set it & it's on your terms.

If you decide 4 years is long enough & that deadline has past, then you have to go.
Time to move on.
Stick to your guns.
Do not Share your timetable with him.

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Tuesday, March 2, 2010

You want what others have.......true or false?

Tuesday, March 2, 2010
By name it's called the Jones Effect. It means you want what other people have. We as people believe if someone else likes what we like, it validates it as good.

Most women do not want the guy they like to think they are into someone else because then he may get discouraged and give up. WRONG!!!!!

Bring it on Sister!
This is a huge misconception.
Guys are competitive by nature.

All he sees is someone else wanting you. That is a good thing. Other men should want you.
Seeing you talk to other men will not scare him off. It should only fuel the fire.

When you first start dating someone, you want it to be pretty obvious that other men find you attractive. Talk and be friendly with the men around you. Don't go overboard though.

It's fine for him to think you are out with other guys. Don't explain where you are or who you are with. He isn't your daddy. You want him to question if you have another date.

Don't hide the fact that you have guy friends.
You don't have to ignore guys at a party.
Don't be obvious, but don't hide it either.

Fuel the flame, girl. See where it gets you......

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