Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Winter Solstice

Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Well, ladies & gentleman.
Today is the Winter Solstice.

I was instructed back in the summer that a solstice is the perfect day to take out paper & pen & write down exactly what you want for your future!
So I am now instructing you do the same.

Get paper & a pen.
Sit down & really think it through.
What do you want from life?
Do you want a better relationship?
Do you want a better job?
Do you want more money?

Write it down!!
Concentrate on it. Focus, focus, focus!
If you believe in what you want & that just by simply putting it out there, it will happen....guess what! It will!!
That's right.
What you want will happen if your thoughts & beliefs are in alignment.
No negative thinking. Absolutely not allowed.
It will happen, it will.
Just because.

Don't forget about my free coaching offer. Will end soon.
This is the perfect time to hire your own personal life coach!


Naughty or Nice??

he's making a list....checking it twice....gonna find out if you're naughty or nice...

Ok, I am not talking about truly being naughty here....Just breaking a few rules in order for YOU to get ahead in life.
Not to hurt anyone or harm anyone.

It's a dicey business to tamper with convention, but if you want to wish, dream, & do, consider becoming comfortable with bending, redefining, & otherwise breaking a few rules.

How do we become rule breakers, you ask?
In some cases, it's sort of a seat of the pants kind of deal. Perhaps you weren't planning on making an exception but you just couldn't help yourself or maybe you knew from the start that you & a particularly menacing rule were never going to see eye-to-eye. You might even have been told to wing it.
Ultimately, I believe that is why we break the rules. We need to get things done & the only way to make that happen is to turn our backs on the rules.

Like I stated earlier, you do not want to step outside the law or intentionally harm or hurt another human being.
Breaking the rules is about asserting your independence & becoming the person you are meant to be.
Each time you break a tradition in order to live your life with more truth & validity, you become a bit of a revolutionary.
Most people confine themselves to doing things the way they've always been done.
It's the risk takers, mistake makes, & rule breakers who wish, dream, & do with verve & conviction.

I believe it was Marilyn Monroe who said "well behaved women rarely make history."

I am here for you.


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

tis the season to be giving

Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Giving creates space for more to come in.

Some form of giving is an integral part of prosperity. Most people who are blessed with wealth feel a desire to give back in some way.
Take a moment and think of someone who is blessed in this way. Do they give back?

When you give you embody this important aspect of wealth & place yourself in the company of millionaires & billionaires around the globe.

Giving is the natural counterpart to receiving.
In order for you to fully experience abundance, money needs to flow through, not just into, your life.

The only one who puts limits on how much you can receive is you.

If you cannot give money, perhaps you can be generous with your time, skills, or compassion.

The more consistently you give, the more you will benefit from the energy of giving. How much & where you give is less important than the giving itself.

Giving should be done as a gesture of gratitude, not obligation.

Give away a little bit of money everyday. A penny is enough. Drop it in a collection jar, give a tip at your coffee shop, or leave a quarter on a shelf at your grocery store for someone to find.

Give something each time you are asked instead of saying not today.

If your career provides regular cash income such as tips, choose a percentage between 1% & 5% to give away over the next 30 days. Each day count the appropriate portion of what you have received & give that away within 24 hours.

If you absolutely can't give money at this time, donate at least 1 hour a week to a worthy cause or organization.

I am giving away FREE feng shui tips. What would you like to attract into your life? Wealth? Love? Weight loss?
Email me your_girl_amy@yahoo.com
It can be done.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

an Attitude of Gratitude

Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Twas the day before Thanksgiving.....what are you grateful for?

How often do you truly express gratitude for everything you have in your life?

The sheer act of expressing gratitude sends out a signal to the Universe to send you more things to be grateful for.

Embracing gratitude not only helps you focus on the here & now, but it also makes you appreciative of all you do have in your life right now.

We spend so much time wanting & wishing.
Well, how about just being thankful & grateful for today & what was in our life today.

Instead of wasting energy complaining about what you do not have, spend that exact same energy on what is currently in your life that you are appreciative for.
If you have a thought that is leading to lackful thinking or a complaint, stop yourself in your tracks & replace it with a thought that is appreciative, grateful, or thankful.

The more appreciative you are, the more you attract that positive flow into your life.

If you don't believe me, just try it for a couple of days.
I guarantee you will at least feel a little lighter, less weighed down by all those negative thoughts.

Here is something else you can try.
Keep a gratitude journal. I do this myself. I write 10 things in mine each night before bed. Then I write out some affirmations. I essentially fill up the whole page each night. Sometimes I have to scribble in the sides to have room for everything I want to say to myself.
If 10 things seem like too many, write 5 things you are grateful for. Try to list different things each day.
The point is you are acknowledging these things you are grateful for each day.
You do not have to do it at night like I do. You can do it whenever you want.

This helps develop your awareness for being in the moment.
Take a moment every day, to stop & smell the roses. Look for simple things each day that put a smile on your face. Then hold on to that feeling.

Here are some affirmations about being grateful that you can use:
I am grateful that I'm attracting positive & enriching people into my life.
I am grateful that people are coming into my life to help me on my journey.
I am grateful that I have the tools & insight to live the best life possible.
I am grateful for the many opportunities the Universe has sent to me during my life.

If you like my style & think you may enjoy my coaching, please feel free to email me.
Many different options are now available.


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Meet Christina Long

Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Christina was 13 years old. She could be just like the 13 year old sitting in your house right now.
Christina Long was pretty and popular.
She was in the 6th grade at a Catholic school in Connecticut.
She was co-caption of the cheerleading squad.
She was a member of the National Honor Society.

And yes, she is now dead.
Killed by an internet sexual predator.
But not exactly how you think.

You see Christina doesn't exactly fit the mold that I have previously described. There is always the other end of the extreme. The kids who seek out these predators. The kids who think they are tough and can handle it. Who are looking for a "good time" so to say.

Christina was being raised by her aunt. They were extremely close. Chrissy & her aunt, Shelley talked about the risks online openly & frequently. Shelley kept close tabs on Christina's online profile, urged her to use a less provocative screen name even. When asked to change things, Christina complied.
However, what Christina's aunt did not realize was that Christina had 1 profile she showed her & 1 she did not.
Christina was going out of her way to meet guys online for sex.
Because of this, she was found murdered on May 20, 2002.

Her alter ego profile stated she was "up for anything."

The only time Christina was left unsupervised was Friday nights. On May 17 when her aunt came to pick her up at the mall, Christina was not there. She called the police & when they turned to Christina's computer for clues they discovered she had changed her password.
What they discovered after AOL granted them access was shocking to her aunt.
One boy was saying 'I'm sorry, I'm glad you got your period. I will wear a condom next time.'
Christina's aunt finally realized she was talking to strangers and not school kids.
Police discovered Christina had had a sexual encounter with a 24 yr old, Saul Dos Reis a week earlier & was planning on meeting him again that night.
When questioned Saul, led police to Christina's body.
Saul claims Christina approached him online & not the other way around.

Christina's aunt did everything right. Talked to her about the dangers of the online world & meeting people online & chat rooms. Popped in on her unexpectedly to check on her online doings. So where did it go wrong?

Maybe you should sit your child down & have a talk with them. Show them the information about this girl. What happened to her. That she thought she was above what had happened to others. That she was just having a little fun....yea a little fun that ended up getting her killed.

It's a scary world out there.
Sometimes it's a scary world in here.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Are we putting our kids in danger??

Tuesday, October 26, 2010
We may actually be putting our kids in danger by the contradicting messages we send.
We tell them not to trust strangers, yet
-we drop them off at ball practice with coaches we may never have met
-we allow them to stay after school because they will be with their teacher

-we send them to dance lessons
-scout meetings
-play groups
-daycare centers
-friends' homes
-movie theaters
-even to the doctors office
without making sure that they are able to recognize when they are in danger

All of these places and circumstances are full of people they do not know & we do not know. Full of possible child predators.

We teach our kids not to take candy from strangers, but on Halloween, we often make exceptions, especially if it's in our own neighborhood, where sexual predators may lurk or reside.

And while we tell them not to even talk to strangers, we make an exception there too for police officers or other representatives of authority.
However, sexual predators have jobs in every profession.
There are no exceptions; they are white collar professionals, blue collar worker, & unemployed individuals.
It's impossible to tell sexual predators from the rest of the population. They are everywhere.

Instead of picking out a group of people to whom our kids can turn to when they are in trouble, such as police officers, we need to simply & openly teach children how to know where to turn.

They have to be trained to use their own intuition about people & use it in conjunction with the information that we have provided to them.

Predators can easily gain the trust of a child, instill in them a feeling of security, & often lead them astray by convincing them that they are mature enough to make their own decisions.

That is why we need to teach children, starting from a very early age, the vitally important information to help them take the power away from the predator.

*Children need to be aware that predators can & will approach them in broad daylight, & on the internet, anywhere at anytime.

If we can instill in our children the need to be completely aware of their surroundings on a much higher level than we generally do, then it's a start.

If we let children know at a young age that people older than them cannot always be trusted, that someone may try to talk to them about things like secrets & special friendships & that children need to tell on them, then we are making some progress. If we explain openly & honestly that there is nobody that can be crossed off the list of people to follow the rules about, then we might just get through to them.

Kids are resilient. They are smarter than we think. Giving them the tools to protect themselves at an early age is wise because it will come naturally to them as just another lesson in life.

I want to help you, as parents, educate yourselves & your children about these predators.

Without education, we will fail our children.



Friday, October 15, 2010

Protecting your kids online

Friday, October 15, 2010
1. Limit the amount of time children have interactive access to the internet to 2 hours a day. This is after homework. According to research, the risk of a child being exposed to predators, pornography, or cyber-bullying goes up dramatically beyond that daily exposure. The more time a kid has to roam around cyberspace, the more trouble they can get into. If a kid knows they only have 2 hours, then they are going to get down to business & do what is high on their priority list(downloading music, chatting with friends, etc) instead of chatting with strangers.

A note to the wise also, experts say that if a child sees mom & dad spending excessive amounts of time online & meeting other people in chat or in person, they will do the same.

2. Computers with internet access should always be in an open area of the house. You should be able to look in from time to time & see what your child is doing, what they are looking at, & know who they are talking to. It's good for them to know you are paying attention.

3. Remind children that online people are not always who they say they are & that there are real-life consequences should they give out personal information that could allow a predator to find them & take advantage of them.

4. What you post online stays online forever. Don't post anything online that you wouldn't want to be seen by your parents, a principal, police, or predators.

5. Beware of the cell phone, digital camera, or web came showing up that you as a parent did not purchase. If you see one of these items, it could mean your child purchased it without your permission or that someone else, possibly a predator, provided it to ensure he will get photos from your child.

6. Guard your passwords. Nothing good can come from fellow students being able to access your child's personal information or their social networking site. A person who may be your friend today may not be next month. That is how it works in today's adolescent world. Better yet, change your passwords regularly.

7.Set up any social networking site so that only people you invite & approve can enter.

8. Know the chat rooms your child is visiting.

9. There is a fine line between spying and respecting your child's privacy, but it's okay to take a look at their computer every once in awhile. Ask them to show you their friend list. Just as you should know the first & last names of the friends they hang out with, you should know the identities of those they are talking to online.

10. Is your child forming an addiction or obsession to the internet? You can check the archive of who your child has been talking to. If there is an unusual amount of time with one person, especially one you do not know, you need to pursue this.

11. Develop trust. Your child needs to know that if they are approached online by anyone who makes them feel uncomfortable that they can come to you openly & honestly & you will not overreact. They need to know they will not be punished. Remember, the child is always the victim.

12. Know where to go if a predator has approached your child online. You should never be shy about calling an internet provider to report something. Many police departments have youth officers who specialize in this area.

13. Do not delay reporting a predator incident. It probably isn't the first time the guy has tried to solicit a teen. If you do not do anything, you are only giving him the opportunity to do it again.

14. Interactive games like World of Warcraft, Xbox 360 Live, etc allow players to communicate with each other in real time, without a reliable way of logging these conversations. This creates the potential for predators to use these games to groom or meet teens. If your child is staying up all hours playing he could be exposed to conversations with people from all over the world.

15. Do not ever allow your child to use their real name as a screen name in a chat room.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Meet Kacie Rene Woody.......

Tuesday, October 12, 2010
She might be a girl just like you or she might be just be like your 13 yr old daughter.
Except she was killed on December 3, 2002 by a man she met online who was posing as a teenage boy.
Kacie Rene Woody lived with her single father & her older brothers in Arkansas. She met lots of people online in Christian chat rooms & talked to them online. Sometimes she even gave them her phone number & chatted with them on the telephone as well.
Kacie met the wrong person online & it ended up costing her her life.

Kacie's computer was in the living room. Her father, Rick, knew she chatted in chat rooms. Rick felt the internet was harmless. He was afraid of what might happen outside the house not inside it. Rick would even look over Kacie's chat conversations. Nothing was out of line.

Kacie met 47 yr old Dave Fuller from San Diego in a yahoo chat room. He claimed he was a 17 yr old boy. Not only did Kacie chat with him, but so did her friend. They both spoke with him over the telephone too. It was stated that he did not sound 47.
Dave lied his way into Kacie's sympathetic heart. He said his aunt was in Arkansas dying. Kacie had lost her mom & was extremely sympathetic to this.

Dave never asked to meet Kacie. He never talked sexually to her. They just chatted about everyday things. School, parents, messy rooms, etc. Except these things weren't really normal for Dave since he was 47 & a child predator grooming Kacie.

On December 3, 2002, Dave showed up at Kacie's house & kidnapped her. She was home alone. Her father was at work at the police station.
Police later found Dave in a storage unit he'd rented a month before in Arkansas. They found Kacie naked, chained to the floor in the back of his van. She had been raped & shot in the head.
Dave Fuller shot himself before police could get inside the storage unit to arrest him.

Police believe that Dave traveled to Arkansas twice before actually kidnapping & killing Kacie based on credit card receipts. He was a true predator. He waited her out for the perfect timing in his head.

Now keep telling yourself this doesn't happen.
Keep thinking this won't happen in my small town, not to my little girl. Because that is exactly what Rick Woody thought.
The internet does not discriminate. It doesn't know small town from big town. Online predators are everywhere.
The only answer is education.



Monday, October 4, 2010

Codependent People.

Monday, October 4, 2010
After a conversation I had this weekend, I felt the need to write about codependency.

10 signs of a codependent personality:
1)relationship addiction- this person has no sense of themself or feel they are of value so they must continually be in a relationship to feel that high. In other words, they are just an extension of that other person instead of being their own person.

2) Lack of boundaries- codependents have a habit of lacking emotional boundaries. They are like a chameleon. They change emotionally to fit the situation.

3)Value is placed on what people think of them- They will apologize for things they cannot control. They figure out what a person wants & give it to them.

4)The feel indispensable- they feel that people wouldn't want them around if they are not giving something.

5)What do you think- a question you will often hear from codependent people. Do not trust in own thoughts or opinions.

6)Center of Universe- codependent people are self-centered but in a different way. They bring stuff around to be their fault. They are constantly apologizing. They create drama.

7)Emotional walls- Due to a codependents need to help & take care of others, they neglect themselves. They do not have own emotions.

8)Liar- most people lie to get themselves out of trouble. They lie to others to get themselves out of uncomfortable situations or confrontations. Codependents lie to self about own feelings. It's hard for them to face true feelings.

9)Fear of abandonment- codependent needs to be involved in ever aspect of significant others life & if not they perceive it as abandonment. This is usually rooted from something in their past.

10)Control & judgement- codependent people crave control & it comes from deep seeded fear. Codependent people are very judgemental of others.

Let's use romantic relationships as an example.
When in love, you either fit or not. You do not change yourself to fit.
Codependents change themselves to fit every relationship.

I have more on codependency that I will post very very soon.
This is a heavy subject on my mind right now.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

Circle the Drain

Thursday, September 23, 2010
I've been planning this blog post for a month now. Thinking it over in my head. I never write out blogs posts beforehand. I always just sit down and type.
Maybe not always a smart move, but it's me.

I want to talk about the fact that I've been Scott-Free for 1 year this month.
Anyone who knows me knows exactly what I am talking about & knows what a HUGE accomplishment this is.

I was in an on again/off again relationship with a not so great for me guy for 12 years of my adult life.
It started when I was 18.
As I look back, I was so smitten.
I loved that boy with every ounce of my being. Would have gone to hell & back.
Maybe I did.

So that was the song back in the day. Yup, explained exactly how I felt. O yea, it came out on the Coyote Ugly Soundtrack. I am not saying it isn't old. I am saying I am not old.

So This guy was 24 when we officially started dating & I was 21. I spent the prior 3 yrs running from him. I must have known he was trouble, right. But I was in love from the get go.

And I still love him. I am not in love with him.

He is an alcoholic and a few other things, but I will not air that dirty laundry. I am not sure how I came to feel so responsible for him. I know that I felt we were soul mates. He never told me that. He did tell me he loved me & I believe he did....to the best of his ability. Alcoholics are manipulative. I could not see that then. They are also co-dependent. I also could not see that then. When I was 21, this relationship was fun. Then I grew up.

Once I had a child, this relationship wasn't so ok anymore. I still participated in it though. Especially that summer, but I'm not going to get into all the gory details.

Now onto the next song.

And that just about sums up how I feel now.

And I credit life coaching for helping me walk away a year ago. I did it in steps.

I am now able to allow new guys into my life and actually contemplate new relationships where before that wouldn't have even entered my mind.

Imagine 12 years of maybe going on a couple of dates with a guy but not really committing yourself to them because you were committed to a guy who was more committed to alcohol than you. Not fun. He once was dating 2 other girls at the same time as me & I discovered it. I quit talking to him for a week before he showed up on my porch & weaseled his way back in.

I can see it all quite clearly....NOW.

Do you know why I write all this? Because I want you, my readers to realize I am a real person. I have been through crap just like you. Maybe you and I have been in similar situations. I can relate to what you are going through.

I am this girl. I have been there, done that. I want to help you get to where you want to be. I had someone help me get away. Sometimes it's too hard to do it on your own.


Monday, September 20, 2010

Is today my lucky day?

Monday, September 20, 2010
It is my birthday.
I'm turning 29 today....shhhhh

I did a guest post about life coaching on PhitZones blog & he posted it today of all days!!
Awesome, right!

Then I am listed as a top story on the reneeporsia Daily!
So it has to be my lucky day, right??


Thursday, September 16, 2010


Thursday, September 16, 2010
So 2 days ago I got some Reiki on.
And now you are saying you did what Amy??
Let me give you some background.
I met a wonderful person on Facebook, Jess is her name.
Here is her profile.

She does Reiki. Friend her. She's pretty great.

Now according to wikipedia the definition of reiki is a spiritual practice developed in 1922 by Japanese Buddhist Mikao Usui. It uses a technique commonly called palm healing as a form of complementary and alternative medicine and is sometimes classified as oriental medicine by some professional bodies. Through the use of this technique, practitioners believe that they are transferring healing energy in the form of ki through the palms.

And here is my experience with it.

Jess told me to go lay down somewhere where it was quiet. No distractions. I

turned the computer volume down and the cell phone to silent.

Went to the bedroom and laid on the bed.

At times I felt some heaviness. Like it was coming down on me. I had no clue

how long to lay there. Usually Reiki is done in person, I believe, but Jess does it

long distance too. I felt at peace. I laid there for a good 15 minutes after she

was done. I almost fell asleep.

Afterwards when I got up, Jess said she could tell I was emotionally drained,

which I am.

She also asked about my heart. I've recently had a broken heart. she did not

know this.

She said she felt a heavy heart.

She told me I may feel emotional & I said I was already emotional so it would

just blend.

However the next morning, which was yesterday, I was just plum exhausted.

When I returned home from dropping my daughter off from school I fell back

asleep and slept until after 11am. Jess said that my body was doing what it

needed to do.

I think Reiki is awesome!

I think everyone should experience this.

Believe a little.


Friday, September 3, 2010


Friday, September 3, 2010
August marked an important anniversary for me. It has been 1 year since my life crisis that catapulted me into life coaching & the life I am now living.

Most people around me know nothing about this life crisis.
Last August while my daughter was in Florida without me, I suddenly & violently almost, realized I was incredibly unhappy.
And I did not know what to do about it.
I didn't know how to fix it, what I wanted to do instead of what I was doing, or where to go from there. I couldn't stop crying. Then came the drinking. I was drunk a lot of nights while my daughter was gone. I am not afraid to admit it or tell you all about it. I was lost. Did not know what to do. I just knew I was unhappy & I wanted it to change.

I quickly found life coaching and new it was for me.
Coaching has helped me to have another anniversary that I will be celebrating in September. Don't worry, I will blog about it too.

Through life coaching, I have learned how to be a better person. I have remained positive for the most part throughout this past year. I know that sometimes you have to take a step back & evaluate situations & decide whether or not it's even worth your time & energy. I used to waste a lot of energy.

Now I am creating a program to train life coaches myself. I am so grateful for life coaching & how it has changed my life. I want to give back & help others.


Monday, August 30, 2010

Characteristics of an Internet Child Predator

Monday, August 30, 2010
I am going to list some characteristics of a child predator, but it's important to remember that they do not all meet these characteristics. There are always those predators who are outside the box that experts have identified.

-The average child predator is male & over the age of 25.
-he could be considered the guy down the street who kept to himself.
-the loner type, very few friends, & typically not married.
-most often has limited social skills, but a propensity to engage in conversation with an adolescent or child.
-tends to become shy with adults of his own age.
-seeks out jobs that allow him to work around children.

Child predators come from all walks of life, some are rich, some are poor, some are educated and some are not.
They usually have a sexually abusive or violent background.

Child predators usually see nothing wrong with their behavior.
They will target numerous children at a time.
They will take their time to groom their victims & their words are very thought out.
Once trust is built, blackmail & guilt are often used to get the child to succumb to their demands.

As a parent, you need to create open dialogue with your child & set clear rules regarding the computer & internet usage.
Watch what they are doing online, but do it openly.
Set trust between you and your child.
Be honest & tell them what can happen.

If you have any questions at all, please feel free to contact me.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

What do you think online seduction leads to??

Thursday, August 26, 2010
If the predator has his way, it leads to rape & torture.

The online predator spends all this time grooming the intended victim...then they talk them into meeting them face to face.
at a hotel room....
or sometimes even right outside the child's house.

This does happen...it could happen to your child. Be smart, get educated.

I hate to be the one to point out the cold hard facts, but someone has to. Not everyone can remain silent.

On the average, 1 woman is being raped somewhere in the United States every minute of the day.
1 out of every 4 women born in this country will be raped at some point in her life.
According to FBI statistics, in the US alone, more than 100,000 women report being raped each year & an additional 400,000 to 900,000 women are raped but do not report the crime.

Most rapes go unreported & fewer than 10% of reported rapists go to jail.
Most rapists are still out walking the streets, free to rape again.

Now I do not say these things to scare you.
It's important to know what you are up against. It's important to know the facts.
It's important to be educated.

Rape occurs anytime a person is forced or coerced, physically or through verbal threats, into any type of sexual contact with another person, whether the assailant is a friend, an acquaintance, an employer or fellow employee, a husband or a stranger.

Each of us probably knows at least 1 other person who has been raped.

If you have been raped, you are not alone. There is help.

No matter what you could have done differently, the rapist- NOT you- is to blame for the assault.
Whatever you are thinking in your head that you did or that other people have told you you should have done differently, you did NOT deserve to be raped!

Sure you were probably doing things you usually do & you got hurt this time, but that doesn't mean you should have known better or done things differently.

There is help for you.
If you feel this is something I can help you through, please email me.
You do not have to go through this alone.



Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What children are at risk?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Some young people are particularly vulnerable to online predators.

May display some of the following traits:
~new online & unfamiliar with netiquette. But even the most web savvy teens can be seduced by predators who are good at what they do.

~Actively seeking attention or affection




~Confused regarding sexual identity

~Easily tricked by adults

~Allured by subcultures outside of parents' world.

Here are some characteristics of typical victims:

-most but not all victims are between the age of 12 & 15
-Most victims have an instant message account but haven't set up privacy or security settings & willingly engage in conversations with strangers.
-live in suburban or rural towns
-are very sheltered & naive
-tend to be loners with few offline friends.
-tend to spend more than 90 minutes online after homework per day
-are secretive about their internet activities
-tend to have few activities outside of the internet.

Just because your child matches one or more of these characteristics does not mean they are being targeted by predators. However, your child is not perfectly safe if they match none of these characteristics.

Be an involved parent. Ask your child questions. Explain why you want to know this info.
Open & honest.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me for a FREE consultation.


Sunday, August 22, 2010

Online grooming~~ How a predator picks their victims

Sunday, August 22, 2010
An online predator goes online & searches until he sees a potential victim who fits his age, gender, & other preferences. These will vary from predator to predator.
The predator begins to gather info about the potential victim.
This is how he/she bonds with the victim. They find out what they like & dislike, what kind of home life they have.

Predator will look at the child's demeanor, personality, dress, & financial status.
They are looking for the child's interests & vulnerabilities at the same time.

Now this process doesn't occur over night. It usually goes on for months.
Predators prefer children of a single mom. Think about it...the mom usually has to work which means the child is home alone if old enough. They have more time to play around online without interruption.

Predators are skilled at knowing the emotional & physical needs of children.
And they prey on these needs.

As I've stated before, teens are vulnerable emotionally. A predator talks to them like a friend. Consoling them, agreeing with them. Makes the child identify with the predator & creates the bond.
The predator begins to talk to them more & more. Emailing. Possibly texting.
They sometimes wait a bit before introducing sexual stuff in the conversation.
But there are always those who jump right in.

Sometimes even if the child doesn't feel comfortable with this type of talk, they go along with it because they do not want to lose this new friendship with this person who supposedly completely understands them.

If your child doesn't have a webcam, the predator may purchase one for them & mail it over. Be on the lookout for this. Prohibit webcams.
Stress to your child that once you email, post, or text a photo of yourself, it's out there & you can never get it back.
Kids do not always get that. They think that whoever they are sending that picture to would never share it. Well, these predators will! It will show up online somewhere you do not want it & may never know it's there most likely.

The predator may start sending gifts too. Be on the lookout for this as well.
Could mean your child has already started sending pics, but could just be a way for the predator to better bond with your child.
They are weaseling their way in by buying your child.

This is the beginning of the process and if you keep your eyes open, you can see it happening.

Have any questions? feel free to contact me


Saturday, August 21, 2010

Grooming....do you know what it is?

Saturday, August 21, 2010
Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager?
You feel lonely..lost. Everyone is against you.

Today it's even more difficult to suffer through the teenage years with the internet.
There's online bullying for starters. But that's a whole other post.

Grooming is the process predators use to bond with their victim.
It's how they develop a close relationship with the child.
It can be compared to seduction.

Online predators gradually seduce their potential victims through the use of attention, affection, kindness, & gifts. They are willing to devote considerable amounts of time, money, & energy to this process.
The predators will be aware of the latest music & hobbies likely to interest kids & will listen to & sympathize with kids' problems.
They also try to lower young people's inhibitions by gradually introducing sexual content into their conversations.

Because victims have been carefully seduced, they often do not realize that they are victims.

If teens & their parents keep their eyes open, this process can be picked up on & interrupted.

The most important thing parents can do is keep an open & honest relationship with their children. Tell them about the warnings & signs I have posted. Talk to them often.

If you have any questions at all, please do not hesitate to contact me for a free consultation.


Monday, August 16, 2010

Tips for parents about online safety

Monday, August 16, 2010
~Talk to your child. Be open and honest. Find examples of cyber seduction and show them to your child. Educate them.

~Set clear rules regarding the computer & internet usage. Be prepared to back up your rules.

~Understand what your child is doing online. Have them show you where they go & their social networking profiles.

~Monitor their online accounts & email. Also their cell phones. Do this out in the open. Let them know why you are doing it too.

~Instruct your child not to post their address or phone number publicly.

~Keep the computer in a common area of the house instead of the bedroom.

~Instruct your child not to add strangers as friends on social networking sites.

~Prohibit web-cams

~Teach your child the responsible use of the resources online.

~Understand, even if your child was a willing participant in any form of sexual exploitation, that he/she is not at fault & is the victim.


Monday, July 19, 2010

Full Circle

Monday, July 19, 2010
I want to keep everyone updated on what I am doing & the changes going on in my own life because they will be reflected here in my blog.

I have recently experienced a lot of changes in my life.
I had a breakthrough about a week ago.
I knew I was heading in a new direction.
Knew I was going down a new path & wanted to reach out to new people, but just didn't know who until I opened the paper on Saturday morning. I began reading an article about a local teenager and her family who basically went to hell and back. (http://www.kalynssecret.com/)
It just hit me like a ton of bricks!

I want to work with abuse victims.
I want to work with parents of teens.
I want to help them see the warning signs of cyber seduction.
I want to help prevent this.

I have always known this.
But when I was starting off as a life coach I was led down a different path because the people I was working with believed there wasn't any money in this type of work.
But here I am almost a year later & it's all come back to me.
I am embarking on a new journey and this time I will not be swayed.
I am also considering starting a training program for other people like myself to be trained to be life coaches who want to help heal.

Now back to that Saturday. I read that article, which I still have by the way. I may just keep it forever and then I felt the very powerful need to tell these people thank you! So I did just that!
They had a book signing at Barnes & Noble this past Saturday. I went & purchased the book, had them sign it. Told them what I do, what I plan on doing & how the article influenced me. Told them thank you & shook their hands.

Remember that when you show gratitude, the Universe gives you more to be grateful for. I saw just that.

So I want to continue to be motivational and inspirational with my blog, but I also want to be informative about this new area I am going into. I will be doing lots of research in the area of cyber seduction and online predators. I have attended many conferences on these areas already with the child advocacy center when I was there. I remember the horror stories. I want to be about prevention. I always hear so much about intervention.

Prevention can be taught.
You do not have to lock your children up.
You just have to keep your eyes open.
Do not be blind.
Do not not see what you do not want to see.

So again, I just wanted to keep everyone informed.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog.
I appreciate each and every one of you.



Sunday, July 18, 2010

Appreciation is magic

Sunday, July 18, 2010
It is always nice to feel appreciated.
Some people seek out the need to feel appreciated.
If you are one of these people, try doing the things in this list.
I wrote these tips while I was being certified as a Life Coach.
I still happen to think they are pretty great!

8 Tips/Keys on Appreciation:

1. Ask your children/loved ones to tell you 1 thing they appreciate about you each night before bed.
2. A few appreciative words can motivate you to work harder.
3. Lead by example- Never forget to say thanks or how appreciative you are.
4. Graciously accept the appreciation- always say thank you for noticing.
5. Take the time to celebrate the small things you do well every day.
6. Convert your compliments into acknowledgements.
Ex. Excellent lasagna- you are a great cook!
7. When you take the time to show appreciation for someone else, you may just make their day when it's only cost you a few moments of yours.
8. Appreciate yourself, say it out loud. Who cares what the person next to you thinks! You are fabulous!

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Put on a Happy Face

Tuesday, July 13, 2010
A smile makes people feel welcome and comfortable!
It is hard to stay in a bad mood when you a smile on your face.

Life has its winners & losers, but nobody's born a winner.
You have to learn how to win. If you do not, you automatically train yourself to lose.
Losing doesn't have to be a life sentence.....We aren't born ineffective.

It is never too late to restore the dream.
All it takes is the will to top the deepest capacity that's within you, embrace it, claim it, make it your own.

True awakening is not something you jump out of bed and just do. Unless you just happen to be born perfect, it takes effort to work on yourself & grow, to correct the weaknesses & develop the combination of skills, attitudes, & personal character that add up to a winning way of life.

You cannot possibly become what you wish to be by remaining what you are.

Our disappointments are almost never anybody else's fault. They are largely our own doing, the result of failing to learn how to deal successfully with other people.

Look for personal power at home, on the job, or out in the community.
You will find people who have a knack of dealing with people in meaningful & enjoyable ways that bring personal satisfaction to all concerned.

Only when you recognize & understand that the impact of your behavior causes people to respond to you in the ways that rob you of confidence & undermine power, can you hope to find a way around your mistakes.

But understanding yourself is only half of the process. Doing something about it is the rest.